A teardrop falls from my eye onto the book. I look up and discover that i am back in my room, tears streaming down my cheeks. I am not sure how the book got into my lap for i was certain the computer had been sitting between my legs before i fell into a trance. Then again, i am not even sure if this was actually a trance. It felt so real. My heart is racing and the tears continue to fall onto my clothes.
Instead of feeling tired i feel refreshed. I inhale deeply, there is no smog, no stale air, just fresh and pure clean air filling my lungs. I reach for my chest and my hand rests upon a handmade necklace of amethyst, rose and white quartz, and tiger’s eye. It hangs between my breasts, over my heart. I smile and love fills my entire being. Love for one man, this whole world and the Goddess. I do not think i have ever felt this way before. Today is a special day. I am wearing a red velvet gown, hand-sewn. I am barefoot but the dress flows all the way down to my feet. I look down at what i have written in the book.
Sam grabs our coats and my purse and keys. “I will tell you everything i saw at dinner. Come on, let us go out and get something to eat.”
We leave the studio and head outside. The darkness of the evening sky has made everything quite cold. Still feeling a bit dazed, i look up at the moon as i pull the jacket closer around me. Sam opens the car door for me even. And we are off. Inside the car, she turns off the music and sits in silence. I can tell she is deeply concerned for me because she never drives without music unless something has upset her or really pissed her off. I continue to stare out at the moon, listening to my stomach growl.
The words in the Book begin to take on a more urgent perspective of the real world the author lives in. Instead of a continuous story, there are now only bits and pieces of memories and feelings. The carefully constructed passages written earlier on seem to have become more emotional and urgent. There are hardly any dated pages and the whole thing seems to have become more of a daily diary than anything filled with magic and wonder. These random snippets and passages make it harder to read all at once. I check out the clock and it is only noon. I know i need to start working on homework so i place the Book down for further studies and pull out the laptop and get up to grab my school binder with all my notes for this paper.
Again it has been a long time since i have written here. And time grew dark and now the winter is over again and the world is anew. During the dark and cold and stormy months Rayne taught me lots about the rocks, and herbs and how they are used in spells and rituals to increase our changes of making change happen. Both are considered tools to use when designing and practicing rituals and like anything we use and do, they help us to understand and focus what energies we are trying to bring change into our worlds. And being part of the natural world around us they can be easily obtained at any given notice. There are so many ways to get in touch with the natural world around us. I have learned to identify the names of the local rocks that have healing properties and what they are used for. All rocks, like all living creatures, have an energy and power.
I dial the number and bounce my head up and down to the rhythm of a song inside my head. I realize, that the song is the same one that Loki was playing on his double pipes. The phone connects and i hear a masculine and muffled “helloo” from the other end.
“Um, yes. Donovan?” I stammer quickly bringing my focus back to the phone and the reason for calling.
“Yeah, who is this,” Donovan says. Either he was up late, or he is not a morning person.
“Shit,” i exclaim. I hate the taste of this toothpaste. But it was the cheapest brand out there and on my shoestring budget, it was all i could afford. Then again, i have never been quite able to stand the taste of a lot of toothpaste on a brush, so i tend to use it sparingly.
The cool water runs to a warm temperature as i brush my teeth. The sounds of the water lull me into a dream and my mind wanders back into a time where life was simpler, like the one the author of this book describes with her life with Rayne. I dream about what it would be like to be there and living that life, a peaceful one, where i can dedicate myself to my personal pursuits and interests, while giving me all the time to learn about this new path i stumbled into. I’m not even sure what i believe yet. It all seems so strange and i seem to be wandering down something that may or may not be my true beliefs.
It has been awhile since i have written things down in this book. I am not sure how long it has been since Rayne and i have been apart. Since that one day on the hillside, just beyond our cave, i have never returned to the village in the valley. Rayne has had some friends head down there to see what the news of my disappearance has wrought. My parents and intended are upset, which is understandable, but they shall never suspect my disappearance into the mountains. I am presumed dead. There was a small ceremony, the Pastor spoke very kindly of me. I saw it all happen through the trees as Rayne and i slipped silently to watch it. Seeing my mother and father weeping brought a tear to my eye as well, but i know this is for the best.
It is a bit scary to think about how fast this is all happening. Too fast. Just the other day i was just an ordinary grad student working on my paper for Mayan mythology. Today, however, i have turned a different corner and now have become Kendra the neophyte Wiccan. I am confused at how fast this is moving but somehow in a way i do not mind that it moves this fast. For it seems like a natural progression of time.
She hands me the piece of paper. There is a painting done circa early 1900’s. A man and a woman stand wearing medieval clothes surrounded by a half-ring of trees. Small fireflies hover above them, giving the illusion that they are on stage. A caption beneath them reads, “the seelie fae Rayne and his mortal Queen.”
I stare at Sam and blink.
