She hands me the piece of paper. There is a painting done circa early 1900’s. A man and a woman stand wearing medieval clothes surrounded by a half-ring of trees. Small fireflies hover above them, giving the illusion that they are on stage. A caption beneath them reads, “the seelie fae Rayne and his mortal Queen.”
I stare at Sam and blink.
“Um, okay… so what does this mean? Am i supposed to believe that the people who wrote and appear in that Book of Shadows are faeries? Or what?” I am a bit puzzled by seeing this image.
“I dunno. Either it meant, yes, you are supposed to take it at face value. Or it could just be the artist’s representation of the two people. Maybe this artist had a thing for faeries and thought that the Wedding ceremony and Rayne and his Queen reminded him of some sort of majickal handfasting ceremony?”
“I did not mean to just to conclusions, Sam; I am just torn and confused by all this. Things are happening so fast. I do not know if i have time to research this all, and besides what if it is all one big joke, i mean, it may not even have anything to do with my dream. Which i had it again last night, but this time I remembered it all, or most of it and i woke up crying and then there is this thing with the book. I do not know why this is happening to me?”
I feel as if i am 5 years old again, faced with the moral dilemma of having too many cookies in my hand as i try and extract it from the cookie jar.
Sam cuts me off. “Whoa… You had another dream? And you remembered it? How do you know it was the same dream? Tell me all about it. Now.” Her eyes look towards the front of the store, double-checking that no one enters upon our conversation.
“Yeah, i had that same dream last night. You mean i didn’t tell you about it?” I start.
“No, you didn’t mention it over the phone doofus,” Sam says while taking me back to the classroom area. I plop down on the sofa and put my feet up on the table. The backpack remains on the floor by my side.
“Yeah well, it starts out with me a some other kids, with wings, running through this open field. The air is amazingly fresh and i can smell flowers and the sun is out. It is almost a very festive atmosphere as if i am running in a game of tag before someone’s wedding. In the distance there are these clouds. Horrible ugly clouds. And later in the dream, they turn into men. Angry men wearing masks, coming to kill us. There is no way i can wake up at this point and all i can do is stand there and watch in horror as these men on horses go around killing people who cannot run as fast as some of the others. I know this is the same dream because this time, someone vaguely familiar to me, picks me up and runs off with me, as i am shouting ‘mommy’.
Then i woke up this time, crying. It was horrible and the images were so vivid.”
Sam nods through the whole thing. “Wow… okay, yeah.” She sits back in the rocker. It creaks as she rocks and thinks.
“Kendra, did it ever occur to you that the dream and your Book of Shadows may be interconnected.”
“Interconnected, how,” now I am really confused.
“Has the book told you about the 3 types of majicks yet? Or even better, did it even tell you what majick was?” she asks.
“No. To both those questions. i never knew that there were 3 different types of majick. I thought there was only one type of energy but that is subject to change depending on whether the person using it is good or evil.”
Sam, readjusts her position, looks at the front of the store again, and seeing no one, settles down and continues, “Okay. I know of two different definitions of real majick. The first one, attributed to Aliestar Crowley, simply states that majick is the combination of the art and science of causing change to occur in conformity with your will. I have also heard that majick is the art of changing one’s consciousness at will, either yours or another’s. To me, majick is a tool that allows me to improve my life and my mind and affect changes in the world around me. Ever since i started working with energy and practicing majick i have noticed that i feel more focused and my quality of living has improved greatly. And as you can see, i am happier now.”
“Majick affects the natural world around us and our inside. I was taught that there are different types of majicks one can perform in this world. The first type, known as White Majick, is majick that is done on you. The magick one works on them self is usually of a healing or beneficial nature only. The second type, known as Gray Majick, is majick that is done on inanimate objects or on other people that have given your consent to perform something on them. This is the most common type of majick we use because typically we imbibe objects with some sort of power or energy to help us to attain our goal. Gray Majick done on other people is also beneficial majicks and in some cases because you are not working directly on yourself, you never know what the final outcome of the spell or majick will be. So in some cases, the spell may go bad and have a different (not always bad) effect than what you originally intended. Black Majick, yes there is such a thing as that, is majick that is performed to harm someone or is done to help or harm someone else against their wishes. Even if it is a healing spell or sending happy energy towards someone who does not wish it, that is considered black majick.”
“So what happens if you do go around casting black majick on others,” i questioned.
“Good question,” Sam said. “We believe in karma. You know, what you do and say and put out in this world comes back to you. Except witches believe that what you put out in the universe comes back threefold. So if you want to attract lots of bad things towards you, go ahead and cast spells and perform hurtful rituals towards others. But if you want love and happiness and good things coming back to you, send out happy and healing energy. I’m sure that if you look back on your life you will notice times in your life where things happened in sets of 3. Kinda makes you wonder does it?”
I closed my eyes and scanned the recent history of things that happened to me. There were times in my life when good things happened and bad things happened and yes many of those things seemed to come in sets of three. I was not totally convinced but i did like the idea that good things beget good things. I thought about how amazing this majick stuff really was. And how consuming it was.
“The book got into balancing, focusing and power. How does this all fit into these types of majicks.” I said.
“Well, Kendra, majick is the name we give those three things when used together. One cannot effectively use majick to change their perspective and world unless they have enough power, are focused on the intent and outcome of the goal, and are balanced within themselves so that they have neither love nor hatred within themselves. If you have all three of those ingredients, your majick will be very strong and it can help you gain whatever you want in this world. Does this make any sense?”
I nodded my head. It was a lot to digest.
“I am sure you have a lot of questions, huh?”
Again i bounce my head up and down.
“Sounds rather ethical, and formal. Are there any other rules i may need to know?” I wished i had brought my spiral notebook because this was very interesting.
“Yeah, actually we have a few more things we go by. One of them is that you should always follow your instinct. As you know what is best for yourself. Do not take anything anyone says as 100% truth. Even what i tell you now. Even what the Book of Shadows teaches you. If you are confused, read up on it and talk to others. If it goes against what you think is right in your heart, discard it.
“You will also read and hear something known as the Wiccan Reide. As thou harm none, do as thy will. Basically, it says what it means. As long as you are not hurting anyone else, you are free to do whatever you want. Some witches argue that the Reide doesn’t include one’s self. However, many people do tend to include their own selves in with this statement. I am not sure how it all got started but we just try not to harm others. Bad karma, i guess.
“Another way you will hear it stated, is do what thou will is the whole of the law. Love is the law, love under will. While it contains some of the same elements as the Reide, it also differs slightly. All it really says here is that we have the ability to do what we want, whatever our Will is. Our will is defined as our life path, goals and the things that make us happiest here and now. Not for the future, not in the past. Now. So if we are doing things that make us happy, that is all we have to worry about. That next part says that love is the law, most witches interpret that as doing no harm towards others. So you are able to do what you want, here and now, as long as it does not hurt anyone including oneself. That last part, love under will says that together these things.”
“Sam, how do you know if someone wants you to do majick for or on them? And what do you do?”
“That is easy. Never assume someone wants your help or your majickal ability. Either you ask them for your assistance or you wait until they approach you. If someone wants something from you that goes against the Witches Reide or your morals, do not help them. Always trust what you want, and remember if you put forth that energy, it will come back to you. It always does. And most people really do not need or want anything bad coming back to them.”
Sam opens her mouth to continue speaking when the bells on the front door jingle. Immediately she stands up and walks out of the classroom to see whom it is.
“Hey stranger,” I hear her exclaim, “It has been, what, forever since i last saw you.”
I lean forward, over the coffee table, quite curious to see who it is. Sam stands on the tip of her toes, her arms flung around a slender, tall man. His hair, long and curly and brown tumbles over his shoulders. His skin is tan and he’s wearing a dark green sweater that is torn and faded. It appears well loved. He also wears jeans, which are tight fitting and black doc marten boots. Dangling around his waist is a shoulder bag. From the looks of it, he i rationalize that he may be another student at University Bay. Like me. But i have never seen him around the campus before.
“Kendra. Stop being such a sophomore and get out here. I want to introduce you to Donovan.”
I grab my backpack and walk over. For some reason i just cannot bear to leave that Book of Shadows sit on its own. Terrified that someone may take it, which would mean i would never really be able to solve the puzzle. I am totally enchanted by it. I bump into the corner of the wall as i creep around the corner. Great, what a dork i am, i think.
“Hehe.” Sam says, “Donovan, this is Kendra. She is the one i told you about. The neophyte that could use a bit of instruction.”
He turns to me. Oh my god. He has these gorgeous gray eyes. Under the spotlight from one of the track lights he appears almost faerie like himself. I gasp, and blush as i slowly extend my hand out to great him.
“Hi,” i squeak.
He grabs my hand lightly, then draws it closer to his red lips, and lightly kisses the back of my hand. All the while his eyes never leave my face. It makes me a bit awkward as well as honored and a bit flattered. Instantly i feel my face warm. Sam is still smiling hugely, obviously enjoying this.
“Honored, to meet you my Goddess.” Donovan whispers.
“Of course, he says that to all the pretty pagans,” Sam says walking back over to me. “Donovan is far more knowledgeable in witchcraft and energy majick than i am. I asked him to maybe assist you in providing some answers that i cannot answer while i am at work and that i may not know from the book.”
Donovan smiles and nods his head. “So, why do we go back into the classroom and you can fill me in on what you have read and what you know.”
“Okay.” i say and turn back towards the classroom.
Reclaiming my old spot on the sofa, i set the back next to me. And stare back into him. “So I take it Sam told you about what is going on?”
“Yes, actually she did. I am sorry if that offends you.”
“No it does not. I am sorry. I was just caught off guard. So much has happened in such a little time that i have sort of developed paranoia of what is really going on. First i get this book, then i am able to remember my nightmares, and then Sam shows me this picture and i have no idea what to think of it or where my life is now going. Does that help?”
Donovan closes his eyes. And pauses. The room is dead quiet now. Sam turned off the music in the front of the store and is bent over a book of some sort. From where i am sitting i cannot see the title or read anything from the back dust cover. I inhale deeply and try and relax. But it is a bit hard to do with Donovan sitting near me. He excites me and makes me nervous at the same time. I do not know why, boys have never bothered me this way before. I avert my eyes away from him the moment i see his eyes open to gaze back at me.
He leans forward in his chair and places his hands over his chin. “Tell me, what do you know of the healing energies?”
i blink. “Um, i am not sure i understand what you are saying. I know very little of anything. The book i found talks about meditations, and sacred spaces and the elements. Sam has given me a little bit more knowledge of what majicks are and can do, and how to really ethically use them. But as far as what you are defining to me; it is all new to me.”
“Okay. i will try and make this easy for you to understand. I wish we had more time to speak but i feel that you will continue to walk down this path very quickly. And there is not a lot of time to properly train and arm you with all the knowledge and tools you will need to get to where you are going. I know this confuses you more, but i do believe that as you suggest, the Book you found and the image and your dream is interconnected. I believe that you have uncovered a secret. Something buried in your past, deep and forgotten by your heritage, is coming back. And that by discovering that Book of Shadows and beginning to read it caused a chain reaction to take place within your spirit, body and mind. I ask about the healing energies because i have learned that sometimes knowing where you are and how you stand with these things can act as a barometer for you in situations like the one you are in and will continue to find yourself in.
“The energies i refer to are called the Chakras. The word chakra comes from sanskirt and means quite literally wheel. As a system, there are 7 of these wheels and they are scattered throughout your middle of your body. The Chakras are an Indian mode of relating physical and mental disorders to things that happen within your spiritual self. These 7 areas are part of this spiritual self and can help in treating dis-eases and disorders and help to keep you balanced and focused and operating at optimum power (otherwise known as feeling your best). Does this make sense?”
I feel my head drop into the classroom nod mode. It does begin to make some sense, but I am still puzzled by most of the mystery this whole episode of my life seems to be enveloped in. I still wish i had a notebook and pen with me to write some of this down. Oh well, next time, if there is a next time. I shall remember to bring one with me.
Donovan continues, “The chakras can be seen as wheels that spin and operate separately of one another and yet cause the others to turn as well. If one of these wheels develops a problem, the other wheels near it become affected. Okay, now the way this all works is that the Chakras start at the bottom and work their way up to the top. I usually think of a dot at the bottom of the page, turning into a line growing taller. But that is just how i get the chakras straight. All living things have these power centers, however some people do believe that the lower animals only have access to the first 4 of them. But if you own a pet or have really spent time with animals, you probably notice that they actually do seem to have those other ‘higher three’ chakras that some people want to say only humans are privy too.
Starting at the bottom, the first chakra is the base or sex chakra. Usually when you think of this area you associate it to your sexual organs. Also, in meditations on the chakras, which i will share one with you in a bit on how you can do an internal chakra systems check to see if you are out of balance, the base chakra tends to show up as the color red. Now why place this chakra at the bottom? Well, if you think of it in terms of evolution, the first and most primordial passion all organisms have in them is the desire to procreate. Without this chakra, there would be no way to pass on one’s lineage and knowledge. Now when you have issues with your reproductive tract or libido, or perhaps you have a psychological issue with some of the basic concepts that sex teaches, such as pleasure and reproduction, then you have issues with this base chakra.
“Moving right up, we have the sacral chakra. This second chakra, corresponds to the stomach and other survival instincts. It connects this physical area to our survival skills as well as to the Earth. If it is out of balance one experiences tension and perhaps fears about survival and being on this planet. When you think of this chakra in terms of colors, it is seen as orange. Depending on what books you read, sometimes this chakra is represented in the place of the base chakra. For me, i tend to disagree with that format, it makes more sense for me to think of the base chakra being in alignment with the sexual organs and not the stomach and survival things.
“The third chakra, also known as the solar plexus chakra, controls our awareness of ourselves. It is the ego chakra. Its color is yellow. If you ever feel out of control or feeling like someone is controlling you, then it may be blocking this chakra.
“The fourth chakra is the heart chakra. It is linked to the heart and the lungs and it also gets connected to one’s emotions as well. The color association with the heart chakra is green. Which is odd because whenever i see this area in meditations, i picture it as a rose. And roses typically are not green. Are they? In any case, issues with this chakra stem from the heart, so asthma, bronchitis, people who have emotional issues relating to relationships may all fall into this category.
“The fifth chakra is the throat chakra. It deals with communications and speaking. Sometimes it can get blocked when you are not saying things you need to say to yourself or others or perhaps you are talking too much. Blue is this chakra’s color. I know that sometimes when i write, if i get a writers block, i tend to wonder what is up with this chakra because it deals with written communications as well.
“The sixth chakra, the third eye or brow chakra, deals with our ability to perceive things. This chakra connects our eyes with our extrasensory areas and gives us the ability to see that which can be felt or is hidden. If you are having issues dreaming, seeing auras, or imagining things, then this area may be blocked. The color purple represents this chakra.
“The last chakra, we also call it the crown chakra, is your connection to your divinity. It is pure white and can sometimes be seen extending outwards in rays or a string. I see it as a string, the way the fates use it to keep a person alive in this world. In Greek mythology the fate that kills you, does so by cutting this string, or chakra from your head. Usually people with weak spirits or undernourished spirits or souls have their seventh chakras dimmed. I have never really encountered someone whose chakra disassociated himself to everything around them but i am sure they would be perceived almost as the walking dead. I know i would feel that way if i was never able to feel the connection to my sweet Goddess, Qualm.”
“Qualm, Donovan? I have never heard of a Goddess who goes by that name. What culture was she taken from?”
“Oh, I am sure you have. She is Kali, from Indian myths. She is the creator and the destroyer and the eater of men. When i started the chakra healing arts and learning and devoting myself to this path, it was she who approached me as a focus. There are some witches out there who scoff at me for taking on such a powerful Goddess but she has my heart and my love and through her i teach others.”
“Really? i had no idea that Kali was such a big influence for majicks. I thought it was more of a British Isle tradition.”
“Nope, actually as you will find out, paganism and witchcraft tend to draw on mysticism and myth and knowledge from all walks of life. I know that Sam is more into the Shamanism and Druidic traditions than i am. I prefer to focus on the chakras and eastern ways of healing one’s self through majickal energy.
“So any ways, on to that chakra meditation. When you start reading up more on the chakras and all they can do and ways they can help you heal, you will see that many books refer to the centers as appearing like flowers. Now flowers can open and close when they want. When they open, they are happy and full of life. But if they are closed, they are sheltered and in need of nourishment. So if you close your eyes, and think of each chakra– again starting at the bottom, as a flower, you can determine whether they are open or closed. If they are open, you are fine in that area. However, if you picture the flower closed, then it means you have a block there and you need to diagnose and figure out how to clear it so your energy can return to a normal state of mind. Do not worry or get upset if you find yourself with a lot of blocks. The chakras are very touchy centers and sometimes can become blocked and unblocked easily. Once you start paying attention to your body and how you react in different situations you will begin to understand how the chakras interact with what you feel and you will be able to get them unblocked at will. I say we try this now. So go ahead, close your eyes and tell me what you see in each chakra area.”
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. At first it is hard for me to come up with anything. Then as i breathe deeper and deeper and focus only on these seven areas and myself in my body, i start seeing flowers.
“My base chakra appears as a red lotus flower. And it is open. The second chakra, is also open, but it’s not really any true flower. The third chakra is a bit closed, but i guess that is something i have known because of work and school and my upbringing. The heart chakra is closed. Odd, i have always thought of myself as being open to love and very loving. I am surprised to see this one close. Everything else but the third eye chakra seems to be open as well. So what does this mean and how do i clear these blocks?” I opened my eyes.
Donovan smiles at me but he doesn’t seem to surprised. “Good and yes, i saw that in you. Once you become more adept in seeing auras and knowing about the chakras, and getting that third eye chakra cleaned out, you too will be able to help others and see where their blocks lie. The heart chakra block you have may be related to your family life. Maybe there is something missing from it or something you need to deal with at that point. The third eye chakra is not surprising as i do not believe you have ever really taken the idea of majick and the supernatural too seriously, i think that by learning majick and continuing down this path you are on, it will open itself up naturally over time.”
My mind’s wheel turned with all this. I was not sure how i felt about the assessment on my heart and the block that was there. I did not feel anything and i never knew my parents to lie to me. Then again, could there be something in my past they are not telling me? I did not like that thought, but then again, with the dream and those feelings of being ripped apart and away from something i could have known… that dream and the Book, those are the keys to unlocking my heart, I think to myself.
I continue to sit in silence. My mind trying desperately to absorb all this news and information. I need time, and i need to be alone. And i need to do homework and i need to get food. Food, i think to myself, i have not eaten anything all day yet.
“Donovan, as much as i would love to continue talking about this and everything else i think i need to let all this digest. I have not eaten all day and i should head home to eat. And think.”
“Kendra, i think that is a very wise idea.” He gets up and wanders over to where he set his bag down. “Let me give you my home phone number, in case you have any more questions. I would like to talk to you some more sometime, so please give me a call.”
He rips a piece of paper from a notebook and scribbles his name and number on it. I take the paper out of his hand and stare at his script. It is a bit messy but legible. “Okay, and thanks. I promise if i do have any questions you or Sam will be the first to know.”
As if on cue, Sam walks over to me. “Awww… and i was hoping you would stay for a while longer.”
“i would love to Sam, really i would. But i am hungry and i have about a bizillion things running through my head. I need time to digest it all and think and i do have school homework to do. You know with midterms coming up on me and all.”
“Oh i totally understand. So go home and eat and have yourself a wonderful night. If you get bored or want to chat a bit more, call me. Before 8 p.m. of course. I may be clubbing again tonight. You know how i am and all that.”
I smile. Sam was definitely always one for a good party. I give her a big hug and Donovan also comes over and hugs me. And with that i leave out of the Wishpering Shadows bookstore. The sun has long set now, the streets are dark and it is cold outside. My breath comes out in clumps of steam now, as i make my way to the bus stop. The air hangs thick with the scents of restaurants making and serving dinner. It only makes me want to get home faster and cook. I allow my mind to wander about what i will make for dinner. I just do not want to think much more today about majick and the occult. Even though i do want to get home and read more.
