poemtry and prose

I am happiest here. I have learned so much since that day. We have expanded the cave out a little bit, so now it has three distinct caverns. One of them is our main gathering room, with a cauldron and fireplace and of course the table upon which we eat. We now have a ritual room with a wonderful altar and sacred space for our friends to visit and enjoy the Goddess with us. And the last room, of course is our bedroom. Rayne and a friend of his, built a beautiful wooden canopy bed and we now have real sheets, sewn by my shaky hands, made from a neighboring village’s sheep.

And there is more. Within this land, there is a secret place, where peoples of all places, who have abandoned the traditional ways of life, have come to live. We live in mountain caves, trees and i have seen a few peoples even set up their homes underground. They have lived right under my village for years and no one has ever caught onto it. I giggle just thinking about how funny that seems. When the day came for Rayne to introduce me to the rest of the clan, he took me by the hand and blindfolded me once more. This time not because he did not trust me, but because it was tradition. If the rest of the village deemed me appropriate and harmless i would be accepted into the clan. At the time, i thought that there were to be no more secrets, boy was i surprised.

Faerie tales do exist. I know this because the Goddess exists. And where to begin about the Goddess. The first evening there, spent in Rayne’s cave, he taught me some more things about how to invoke and devoke the Goddess when i needed to. Of course, she is with us always but there are times when we need to ask her for specific requests and blessings. And for that we need to invoke and devoke. It was then he taught me about the pentagram, that drawing them in two different ways is how one invokes the Goddess into the circle. To invoke the Goddess, the pentagram is drawn starting from the bottom right and moving your hand upwards to a point, then down to the left to a point, then back out to the right creating a right wing, and then straight across to the left to the left wing, and finally from that point, back to the right starting point. A Devoking pentagram is drawn in the opposite manner, starting at the bottom of the left side. The first time i tried to devoke her from my sacred space, i guess i did it wrong, but Rayne told me it was okay, because as long as the actions are filled with your intent and your emotions ring true about what you want and are asking the Goddess for, she will always bide by that rather than the actions. Doing the actions just teaches us to remember things easier and allows us a way to help prepare our mental states for what we are doing.

While invoking and devoking the Goddess or any other energies you may need when making change on a grand scale, there is one more thing you need to do in order to protect yourself and people who do not want to be affected by what change you want. Rayne calls this casting a circle. There is a lot of importance to the idea of circles within Rayne’s family. Circles have no beginning and no end. There is no head of the house, no worries about power struggles and no corners to have evil and bad things hide in. Circles denote the beginning and end, and the cycles always start again. When Rayne and everyone else and me stand around to work together to create special changes, we also stand in a circle. I like to think of this as a fellowship circle where i am able to see all my friends and they can all see me.

There are many ways one can cast a circle. Rayne says i should go with what feels natural. If i want to use a stick and point it outwards, imagining that there is a circle of white light drawing it and enclosing me in my sacred and work space, then i can do it. Or i can put up a circle by pushing my inner energies outwards until i feel i have enough working space to do what i want to do. When there are more than one person usually everyone stands around a circle and one person, walks around everyone and places a circle up around everyone, so that all the energies combining together and working towards a common goal do not go astray elsewhere.

What do we do once we place these circles up? We do things that create change. When it’s done by one’s self for small and simple requests, we call them spells. Spells can be all sorts of things. They can be as elaborate or as simplistic as you want them to be. Simply speaking out in prayer to the Goddess or Gods is a spell asking them for guidance, protection or help. Sitting at your altar, located in your sacred space bringing herbs and stones from the earth together and casting a circle is a bit more elaborate of a spell. When we get together and affect change together, for the common good of all or to celebrate a particular event, we call these gatherings rituals. Usually, rituals mark our holidays, the passing of the seasons or of the moon’s changes. Rituals tend to be more elaborate, but they are not solemn unless that is the intent of the working to be done. They have food and drink and can be quite jovial with music and discussion. And we bring items together with words and energy and focus and we ask the Goddess to help us do what we need to do. Whether that change is inside of us or in our immediate world surrounding us, it is change.

Spell workings and rituals are the method in which we tell the great Goddess what changes we want and how we need it done. Words carefully selected and chosen to convey the spoken demand combine with scents and items picked from nature that symbolize the physical manifestation of what we want to bring to us or away from us. Sometimes dancing or singing or drawing things onto parchment or sand can be used in a ritual or spell. Rayne says that since everyone’s connection to the Goddess is special and unique, then so are the rituals and spells one creates to show her what they need and want to better their lives and worlds.

This is such a wonderful thing to have. I love the ideas of rituals and spells and i know that when i am done progressing through all that Rayne wants to teach me, i will start writing my personal things down. Like the animals that seem to come to me when i am outside alone and thinking, or the spells i have created to help bring health and happiness and understanding to myself and to my parents who i desperately hope are at rest with my disappearance. Sometimes i wish to go down and visit them again, but i dare not, for i am fearful that they will never let me leave again and i will be trapped to live a life that i do not want to lead. Just the simple thought of this makes me saddened and brings out the bumps along my arms.

Spells and rituals also help us to record and implant some of these teachings into our head. It also helps us to get into the right mood for these special workings. I find that once i start lighting the beeswax candles on my altar or burning the dust of sage i just ground up, my mind slips into another state of being; one that is more focused and balanced and more aware of where i am and what is around me. I can feel the waves of energy in this state and can call upon them when i feel i need them. I fear that without having these actions with me, i would forget all that Rayne has taught me. And i dare not do that. Of course, i have this book as well, but the rituals and actions do keep it fresh in my mind.

I stretch as my stomach rumbles. I look up at the clock and it reads Midnight. Wow, i think to myself. Has it really gotten that late? Time seems to move faster as i read the book. Where once before Mosi sat by my side, she now lays curled up in her familiar spot on the bed. I yawn, quite loudly and purposefully and she lifts her head up, almost to tell me to be quiet as if she is sleeping. I smile at her and get up. Stretching once more, i saunter over to the bathroom. The mirror stares back at me the reflection i have grown accustomed to. Deep circles deepen darker under my eyes, a telltale sign of a student who has more than enough stuff to do and not enough sleep. Especially the way that this weekend has gone, and if it goes on for much longer, i may never get any sleep, i think. I pull back the mirror and expose the medicine cabinet where i store my toothbrush and toothpaste. Trancing off into space i accidentally squeeze a bit more toothpaste onto the brush than i wanted to.