poemtry and prose

Rocks and stones also help to shift our awareness of what is going on in the world and remind us that like them, we are a part of this world. Their energy is felt when we touch them. As i close my eyes i feel them hum in my hands and within certain areas of my body to where the stone may help solve problems that lie within me. It is this hum that tells me that the rocks contain energy and that we can use them to amplify our power and focus and help give our change and requests to the Goddess a boost. Rayne recommends that when i use the stones in my spells that i first sit down and meditate with them to see what they offer to me and what i think they may be best used for.

When i mediate with my stones i place them on my altar and surround myself in a circle to ensure that i do not release anything to change what is already currently in my world. I take a few deep breaths and place my hands over, not onto, the stone and feel it. Sometimes i get a musical hum and sometimes i feel heat from it. Either way i do this to learn what energy it has inside and how it may help me with what i want to do with it. Then i open my eyes and look at the stone. I notice what colors it has in it and how it makes me feel. Sometimes what the colors are and how they affect you can also give you clues as to the best way of using the stone. I also note its shape and hold it in my hands and really see what colors and patterns it has inside. And when i am done with examining all these things i reflect with me, and see what all that means to me. Of course what i may think how one stone should be used for Rayne and the others can give me 500 different ways more in how they see their uses.

Over the Winter holiday Rayne made me a necklace of stones, woven into a leather string. There is a piece of amethyst, used for protection and clarity of psychic thinking; white quartz for healing and drawing the earth’s energy towards me; tiger’s eye, a great creativity enhancing stone; and rose quartz for love and healing. It is the most amazing present i have ever been given and i wear it always, never letting leave my neck. It makes me feel loved and protected and fills me with a great love for who i am and the path that i have chosen to walk. And it reminds me most of Rayne and all the qualities that attracted me to him in the first place.

The same holds true for the local plants. There are some plants that can be used to help sweeten foods and help cure ailments. We call these things herbs. Like the stones of the world, herbs also contain their own energy. Most of what i know of the herbal world has been taught to me by the women in the community, like Rosemary. She knows a lot about herbs and when the weather was nice she would take me with her when she was collecting them. She pointed out all the ones that heal certain common ailments and the ones to avoid, as they are poison to the body.

I have learned how to dry and prepare herbs for use in teas and food and spells. The easiest way being to tie a string around the stem of the herb, hang it upside down in darkness until it is brittle and dry. Then we take two river stones and grind them up. They sit in pouches near our kitchen and altars and can be cooked or steeped for teas or burnt as offerings to the Goddess to help promote our wishes for changes in our world and lives. Salt, gathered from the seawater, or traded from villages, is the most important ingredient we have. It helps to purify and cleanse items and us. It can also be used to cast a circle when doing intense majick workings. Another herb widely used is called Sage. When dried and wrapped into bundles, it burns a smoke that is sweet smelling and relaxing. We also use this herb quite frequently to purify and cleanse areas and ourselves when we do our spells or rituals.

Last moon i was sick for over a period of half a moon’s passing Rayne gave me teas and foods made with a mix of healing herbs and in no time flat i felt much better. I presume that if i were home with Father and Mother right now i may still have had some lingering effects of the sickness.

What is even better is that in two month’s time, during the Midsummer Eve’s Festival, we will be handfasted in front of all our community. Rayne asked me to be his bride a moon ago and i agreed. I have never been happier. There is so much to do to prepare and we have been spending most our time in healing ourselves and getting everything in order for the day when our spirits shall merge in one in front of our family and the Goddess we serve. And as i write this i feel his love surge through me protecting and holding me close. Unfortunately, this is but the only bright spot in the world. There have been major changes going on that our outside our influence. All has not been great in the world however.

We have been told that my village grows strong with hatred. There has been talk about the men having learned about our secret community and the Priest is not happy with how we are living. I fear that they want to place an end to us all. Rosemary, one of my closest friends in the community has told us all stories about several other villages she used to live near and support with her healing arts did the same thing. She was lucky to have gotten away. Every night when Rayne and i head to bed, we pray to the Goddess that they learn compassion and love for us and our ways and even if they do not want to live as we do, to give us the freedom and ability to live our meager lives in peace with the ability to continue on as we have. I have also said a spell to the Goddess to give me protection from their eyes and hope that they have not learned of my truancy. I fear that my discovery with this clan may drive my parents and the village over the edge and they will stop at nothing to tear this life from me.

“Dear Mother, Maiden in all your glory, Please help people to gain the wisdom and understanding that we do not wish harm on others or their living. We want to live in peace and harmony with all nature and your gifts.”

I love this time of year. The blossoms are all out and the sweet perfumes of the new flowers scent the air. A full turn of the moon has gone by since i last spoke in this book. Things have gotten stranger in this world. There have been talks that people like us and our chosen way to live life are angering villages all over the valley. Already a few of the people living in the western borders of our community have been found. Their houses destroyed. They are being put on trial, for crimes they did not commit, judged with punishments that do not befit their crimes. Some of the men here, i pray that Rayne does not go with them, are going into that village tomorrow to see if they can free them.

People begin to call us names and refuse to allow us into their villages to trade our food and wares with their supplies. We have learned to adapt and fend for ourselves. After all, we are stewards of this world and the Goddess will provide for us and take care of us as we respect the gifts she has given us. It does mean that we have to work a bit harder, the men going further out to gather meats and seed to plant the gardens but we refuse to give up our ways and we do not want harm to come to anyone.

We fear the worst. But our faith in the Goddess and that everything balances out in the end will free us and keep us safe. I try not to let it get into the way, for very soon i will have my own dreams come true. For the day of Midsummer draws near. And that is the day that Rayne and i tie our spirits into one. Rosemary and i have been working nonstop to prepare everything for that day. Our little kitchen alcove in the cave hardly smells as if it has been inside a cave. A medley of herbs hang along the wall, drying. Lavender, sage, and dill all hang ready to be worked into the food and incenses we shall burn that night. Also hung near the herbs are drying flowers that will become my bouquet. Bright red roses, irises and lilies hang upside down on a purple ribbon. Beneath the strings with herbs on them, sits two barrels full of freshly brewed mead. Rayne and a few of his friends gathered the fruit from their vineyards. The smells wafting from this area are almost intoxicating, flooding memories of my childhood and the holidays where my Mother and i would prepare food for the family and community. The smells also remind me of Rayne and how we first met that day a year ago. Who would have thought that our paths were destined to be so intertwined?

As i write this, Rosemary sits by the hearth, a piece of red velvet cloth in her lap. She is sewing me the most beautiful gown to wear at the ceremony. The dress shall be worn long, with a white and orange stripe under fitting and between the velvet. The velvet has 8 holes in it, through it, the dress will be tied and cinched up around my bodice. Her daughters sit outside the cave, in the sun, and they weave flowers in and out of two wooden wreaths. These crowns of wood and ivy and flowers will be placed upon our heads, crowing us as the physical manifestations of Him and Her, the Goddess and her consort. For that one day, they will live through us. I hear laughter outside. Oh, it is just Rayne and his friends teasing the girls.

We had a visitor today. While i was sound asleep, Rayne caught 4 men lurking about the entrance to the cave. He had just gotten done saying his morning praise to the sun when they walked up him. Normally this sort of visitation does not disturb us. However, this morning they were dressed in metal armor and carried stakes with them. Apparently, the night before a group of people, mostly men, had wandered down into the village where i was born and slaughtered a few sheep from the herd. Since the few sheep the village has supports them for an entire season, the slaughter has come with repercussions. Naturally, the suspect that it is us, or one from our community.

Rayne chatted with them for a bit. They could tell that it was not us that caused the death of their flock and Rayne tried his best to convince them to stay away from the rest of our friends. They nodded their heads, gave thanks and left back down the trail they had come from. Feeling the side of the bed cool to the touch i had awaken to the men talking outside the cave. I may have recognized one of the men as the one i was to be bethroved to, but with the year having passed so quickly i cannot be certain. I hope they did not recognize me. For i fear that my discovery at being alive may bring on the worst vengeance towards the crime Rayne and i did commit against my family. The incident caused much tension and unrest the rest of the day. Rayne and i went about our chores in silence, smiling to one another occasionally. As much as we pray to the Goddess for protection and understanding we fear that this change is greater than we can affect. Even the last new moon’s ritual of Peace and Understanding seems to not have persuaded the cosmos much either.

Our handfasting day grows near, in one week’s time we shall be joined together. This small glimpse of hope is all i have left to keep me knowing that everything is as it should be. Last night we got call from Rosemary that her friend Ceddren had been arrested. He was out walking beyond dusk and the village near where they lived feared for their sheep, and since Ceddren was unknown among those people, they arrested him on the spot. He currently awaits trial. Fearful for their return and their capture, Rosemary moved out of their Tree House and wandered through the forest to our cave. She had been crying and her cheeks were stained red and cold to the touch. Her two children, with their long ashen colored hair and sullen eyes were shivering and seemed unaware of what had just happened. We brought them into the house, laid the children down to sleep in our bed and stayed awake while Rosemary told us the story of how she had been hiding in the bushes when the men came for Ceddren.

I boiled up some chamomile tea to help calm her down so she could rest and sleep peacefully. Rayne held her hand as she spoke these words. The lines of anger and worry etched across his forehead and i could tell that he wanted very much to take action against this crime. Rosemary and her two girls now stay with us. Until the Goddess provides us with a solution to harmlessly free Ceddren. She cries a lot, poor bird, and spends most of her waking time working with me on the last minute preparations. I fear the worst for Ceddren as we have not been told what is to become of him. I dare not go into the village for fear that i may be caught or spotted by another villager that may recognize me. When we awoke from hearing Rosemary’s story, i noticed that Rayne has become a bit rigid. Hard, like a stone. He seems to be taking this quite hard, as it was him that caused this unease. Whenever i place my arms around him to hold him or to give his arm a reassuring squeeze, i can see how distant his blue eyes are. i worry that it may drive a rift between us but i know he is more or less upset because of how the ways of the world are going. He has such a young mind and wishes that we all can live in harmony.

“Goddess of the night, please protect us and your children as we make this final solace in your name. Please watch over us and give those who may not understand who we are or what we do the kindness and compassion that we too, feel their pain. Let these burning times end, and let us all walk free once more. Under Your service, so Mote It be.”

The day before the handfast, Rayne and i sit together at the edge of the cliffs. We come here often. Just to sit and admire Nature and what the Goddess has given us. I love seeing the earth below me appear as a patch work quilt, with the dark green spots of the tall trees and the light green spots displaying the village farms and flock herds. The blueness of the river cuts through this scene and only adds to the beauty. Every now and then i hear the cry of a hawk or an eagle soaring above me. Comforting to hear. When we first started coming here, to sit and gaze out on the world, i used to try and spot where the bird was that was singing or crying out. Nowadays i relax into the sound continuing my vigilance. I am so lucky to live in such a beautiful land. Today it appears even more spectacular to me.

There is too much turmoil in the world at the moment and with all the tension of the villages and with the disappearance of Ceddren and a few others, this moment of peace is definitely welcomed. We live life on the edge of wondering. We wonder what is going on in the village that Ceddren is held. We wonder if he is being treated with kindness. We wonder when we will be given the news of his release. Rayne sits in silence, his mind filled with thoughts of plans. I am sure he and the others are trying to formulate a plan to get the men out there. We try and live in peace with everyone, to harm no one and yet to be treated like we are something worse than people confuses Rayne. He has never lived a the village life. He does not know why they do what they do.

Even having grown up in a similar village, i also am puzzled by the actions of these men. Usually they do not blame innocent people for things they have not done. There is usually an investigation and when the punishment usually is less than imprisonment. Even when it is as strong as hurting or killing one person’s flock. There is something new going on. A few of the others talk about strange men, wearing black robes and a white collar, preaching the words of the holy book. Having been raised under this book it seems strange to me that there would be people going around forcing those who already believe to believe in it stronger. And what of those who disbelieve? I can only imagine they become like poor Ceddren and thrown into jail, awaiting a trial.

I close my eyes and make a silent wish to the Goddess. “Goddess, give us the courage to live and walk in the ways that feel correct in our hearts. May all villages and beliefs live in harmony. For you have given us special gifts and talents that make each and every one of us unique and special. Without these differences then it would just be you and you alone. Please help those who cannot see to learn about our ways and why we want to walk this path with you and not of the cold ways of the God who would rather have us live bound to him and not walk with him.” I take a long deep breath, sending the energy forth off the cliffs and upwards towards the sun. I relax my body and allow my awareness to sink into the ground.

I lean my head on Rayne and he bowed his down to lay on mine. His head weighs heavily on my shoulder. The sun beats down upon us and i feel both it and Rayne’s warm embrace hold me. I will this moment never to pass, as it seems to be the perfect moment in my life so far. I sigh and he shifts his weight from his head, moving it into his arms and chest. I think about all the things that have gone on in the past year, how we met, the things he has taught me, the love and acceptance i have for these things he taught me and how they have helped me become someone i am proud to be. I am grateful that i am on this path with Rayne and the Goddess. I shift my weight again and ask him what was thinking and he replied to me that he was asking the Goddess for guidance and patience. I can tell he wants to do something to free Ceddren and the others but he knows that if he does it out of hate and brings harm to the villagers it may signal the end of our life and what we have wrought for ourselves. I remind him that the Goddess provides us and guides us and that she knows what is best for us.

As i repeat these words that he has used on me many an occasion while i was learning the ways of the path and how to use energy and work it to affect change he smiles down upon me. He sits up, kisses me tenderly on the lips and tells me that he loves me. It is my moments of wisdom and innocence that draws him close to me and caused his heart to grow deep with love. I return his kiss, brushing the hair that now hangs in his face out from his eyes and smile. We slip our hands together and return to our sojourn, watching out over the lands. Hoping that one day, things will return to the peaceful state they once were.