poemtry and prose

Rayne never told me that learning the ways of the Goddess and the energies she brings us would stir such feelings in me. Then again, i am getting ahead of myself. I really should start at the beginning but i am so excited that Solaria gave me this beautiful book to keep my training and notes in. Okay, so i guess i start at the beginning. But where is the beginning begin?

I guess it all began with the Goddess. Well, actually it doesn’t even start there. It starts beyond an idea of a God or Goddess. It all begins with the Universe. The Universe is a vast and dark place, it is from the universe that all the stars and heavens and planets and stars and moons are from. It is the great creator, giving the spark of breath to all of existence. However, i guess that people have issues with accepting this facet of life so people created the idea of a God and Goddess. So in a way that is how they became. People created the ideas of a God and Goddess for two reasons. One, they needed a more personal way to connect to the world. Secondly, with the universe being so vast to and far away for humans, it is hard for people truly understand and relate to it’s power and what it can do for us.

I guess since there are men and women on this planet, creating two forms of higher powers, one male and one female seemed natural. After all men and women have qualities that reside specifically to each of them. Gods in all their maleness tend to stand for creativity, discipline, and ruling. From them we are given the government and laws and work. Gods tend to be more intellectual in nature, providing people with book skills. And sometimes when one worships Gods they tend to forget that they are apart of nature and want to control their whole life and everything in it rather than working towards a balanced and harmonized way of living.

Goddesses, on the other hand, capture all the feminine qualities of one’s spirit. This includes our emotions, dreams, compassion and desire to help others and us. She is loving and more intone to her intuition and natural wisdom than the male God intellect. Rayne tells me that whatever you think a God is, the Goddess is almost the opposite of that. And as such she balances his energy out and tempers it. I like that belief. Definitely better than what mother and father taught me as a young child.

Putting them together you get the whole. And the whole to me is the universe. To me, the universe is what happens when you put the qualities making up a God and Goddess to together. This way they both balance each other and work together as a single unit. Seeing it this way allows people to see things in a third way of incorporating both halves together instead of just using the single entity of a God or a Goddess. Then when you start really doing majick and performing feats and rituals to help the world and attain your dreams and goals seeing things in this way and drawing both energies into one another makes you much stronger and able to see the world in a more harmonized form. Calling upon a God or Goddess figure to serve as a focus from which to draw what you need to you helps you in attaining this.

Rayne also always addresses me a Goddess. I like that, although i do admit he makes me blush. The first time he saw me blush and shy away from him after addressing me as Goddess he told me that we are all Gods and Goddesses in our own right. After all, it is from their breast we come from as we are all part of the great web of life and bound by the laws of the universe. He addresses everyone in this matter... all men become a figure or representation of his God and all women become the figure of the Goddess. He has such great wonderful notions of how this world should be and how one should live their life. I guess it is no wonder why i was drawn into him and his stories and believes. And i guess it is because of my curiosity and love for listening to him speaks of such knowledge he agreed to teach me what he knows.

It is from them that the Universe gives us faith and form and life. He and She are the tool from which we can identify to this huge place and space we live in. I choose to believe in a Goddess as a her form rather than a he form because for years and years my father and mother chose to instill fear in my activities and chores with stories about a God who was harsh and cruel, one who ruled with an iron fist and punished all those who i disobeyed. Then Rayne came into my life, and told me of her and ever since he started teaching me about her and all the forms that she can take. And ever since i decided to take a she on as my chosen faith follower, i feel more in control of my life and where i want it to go instead of where my parents say they want me to be and how my life should live.

I digress, again. It was Rayne who taught me about the Goddess, and it is easier for me to believe in her than the infinite wisdom of the universe and it’s powers. So we say that it is from her we are born and back to her we all go to. This probably doesn’t make any sense but i know that to have faith in something other than what one can see and touch and feel and rationalize on a daily basis takes faith. And that is what i am learning... faith. But i am also learning how to control the elements through the use of the natural laws of elements. These elements when used with a kind and positive light can help even the smallest person achieve their destinies.

The lessons of school teach us about the 4 elements of the world. Rayne and his beliefs in the supernatural and majick take the concepts one step further. He says what schools and church forget is that there is an additional element, the one of spirit. This one is the channel to which we connect ourselves to the Goddess and eventually to the Universe. I really shouldn’t be worried about trying to write more than i should, Rayne says i should just try and write my knowledge down. And in time i will be able to add to the knowledge that has already been written.

But i feel that some of this story about me, my past and what events are happening around my training may provide important in the future. So i will continue to include little bits of who i am and where i came from, to record them as i used to before setting foot on this new journey. It will be interesting to see how much i have changed when all it is through. Then again, i already am changing. I can feel myself growing and thinking in ways i never thought possible. Like the thought of getting myself down on paper. It’s a feeling i get, that maybe not in my lifetime but in a time beyond this, someone somewhere will find what i write and want to know more about me and my life rather than the teaching that i am providing here.

Then again it may be hopeful fancy. I just want to make sure that what i am learning and doing now for my life is captured and not forgotten. i hope one day that i may have a child of my own or someone to teach like Rayne teaches me. Okay, now that i have worked through my fears, another thing that Rayne says is important to my lessons. More on this later. I grow weary. Tomorrow i will start into what Rayne thinks the 5 elements are and how they go into all this. It grows dark outside and i must do my meditation for the night before i fall asleep.

The nightly meditation goes like this. I am to think of two planets. One of them has more than enough things and feelings on it to sustain the world and it’s people. It’s a planet of over abundance. Everyone has what they need, when they need it. The second planet never has enough. It never has enough trees, homes, food, and happiness, people. It’s a world that is under-abundant. Then i am to think about a connection going from the planet that has more than everything to the planet that does not seem to have enough. This connection gives the under--abundant planet what it needs to survive. It constantly carries food and water, and trees and people to it so that both planets become balanced and working together. This meditation helps to create the idea of balance in my life and in my world and gets me thinking about working as a whole rather than with one or the other.