poemtry and prose

We start off, towards the forest. The tall pine trees become thicker and thicker as we wander off the paths that my village makes with their horses and feet, and head into unfamiliar territory. My fear heightens, as i have never strayed this far away. But i know that as long as i am with Rayne, nothing will hurt me.

He speaks. Starts telling me that what he is teaching me will stay with me for my entire life. He says that i am learning to affect change in all that lies around me. That as long as it is within my Will do have these things brought to me and that it conforms with the worlds of natural laws and things the universe wants for me, anything can be mine. I nod. My eyes mostly watching out for where i am going and concentrating on what Rayne speaks. I do not want to forget any of so i can write it all down.

He says that when we tap into the 5 elements, and combine them in certain ways, we can tap into the Universal current to create these changes that we want drawn to ourselves. Of course knowing the elements and being able to tap into what they have to offer is one thing. However, to create these changes he speaks of, requires 3 other things.

He says it also requires Balance, Power and Focus. Balance is the ability centers one’s inner and outer self. To align their spiritual mind and physical being with the goal they want to achieve.

Focus helps us to guide our concentration and power we have within ourselves into the thing we intend to change. This is especially beneficial because if we do not focus our energy and intent into what the ultimate outcome of the situation we want to change then it does have a chance of backfiring or having the opposite effect and may hurt you. Without focus, you cannot direct and channel your energy into creating intent and manifest the results you want.

Power can be a multitude of things. First it can be apart of the elements and things that we use in our offerings to the goddess herself. Our belief in our Goddess also gives us power. For whenever we call upon her and ask her for strength, we chose to draw down and tap into the Spiritual element. He also says that there is some power within us all, at any given time. Of course, what we choose to eat and do during our days can either add to or take away from this power. Power is real, he says, it can be felt. It is in the center of a flame inside the candle, the push of a branch from the wind and it is what keeps the water in the rivers pushing onwards. He says that if i take some of this energy in my body, wrap it into a ball and place it on my shoulder and the roll it down my arm, extending the arm so that the ball rolls off at the tip and out into a candle sitting outside of arm’s touch, i can even put it out. I laughed at first because that seems to be preposterous.

Rayne looked hurt when i said that it was impossible. He stopped in mid-walk, and told me that when we got to where we were headed he would prove that to me. And of course, i get to do it too. I was looking forward to seeing him perform that action.

Therefore he recommends that I do physical exercises to keep my body in shape and limber as well as eat healthily. A balanced course of foods and juices. Doing these two simple things, he claims will help keep my mind sharp and alert as well as keep my body healthy and free from diseases and illnesses. He also recommends that i say away from the men, when they smoke tobacco from their pipes near the fire at night. These addictions, and the harmful smoke, are things that may take away from the personal power that i have stored into me.

Some of the other things he recommends that one do to create more energy inside them when they need it is to sing, dance, chant, hug, allow oneself to be open to the Goddess and to helping others. Because when you try and affect change in life and in yourself, you need all the power you can get. He also tells me that when we get to where we are going, he will give me even more exercises as well as show me methods and techniques that will help me to identify how much power i have within me at any given time. I like this and am very grateful to the goddess for bringing Rayne into my life.

We pause for a break. Rayne walks over to a grove of trees and sits beneath them, his eyes closed. I stretch my arms and back, as i am not used to walking this much. I try very hard not to stare at Rayne, my parents told me about how impolite it is. But i find myself growing more and more attracted to him every day. He is taller than most men in my village and thinner. Then again, i guess one gets thin if one does live in the wild where it is harder to get fed on a regular schedule.

His clothing is handmade, mostly from leathers and cottons. His boots are warn but well loved. And his hair, long and black, sometimes free to let the wind run through it, others it is wrapped up in a leather tie. His eyes are pale blue, very captivating and i just want to get lost in them.

He stands up... and smiles. It makes me want to reach out to him and hold him and be held by his energy. Am i wrong to want to trust him so much? But I do. He has not hurt me yet.

We move on now and he continues to talk. He asks me what i thought he was doing when he was sitting under the tree. I tell him, he was meditating and he tells me that he was centering and grounding himself. Centering allows us to become more aware of what is going on around and within us. Grounding helps to adjust us to our outside environment and the space you are within. That space can be any physical or astral plane you are working within. The astral plane is a place where our spirits can interact with and connect more to our divinity and the Goddess. It exists parallel to us and within our imagination.

My capacity to relate to these topics of Grounding and Centering and the Astral plane keeps my muse and my ability to write them down in a way that makes sense at a loss. I do not fully understand what Rayne really is trying to teach me yet. As i have not experienced this path fully as he has. However i was sure that when we got to where we were heading that day on our hike, I would definitely experience or learn more about these concepts. Rayne is good about that. Usually he will tell and describe me about what he wants to tell me. He goes slowly as he knows how curious i am and how hard it is for me to think in the same way he does. That i do want to write it all down and he understands that. Astral planes and all this energy work, it scares me but excites me at the same time.

He continues about some other types of energies. One of them, called shielding, scares me. It’s a defensive sort of energy, one that protects a you from any other harmful energies or atmospheres around you that you do not want near you. I mentioned my fear and distrust of shielding and he told me that it was a rather good thing to know. Proper uses of shielding will protect a person against any backfiring that may happen when they cast or attempt to change something in their sphere of influence. I guess this is something i will learn to appreciate as i can already tell that once i exert my influence and knowledge around my village people may not look at me too kindly anymore. Actually i have heard of stories in other villages of people being scorned and banished for disagreeing with the Elders and the High Seats.

Rayne tells me that the best way to shield is to imagine a protective barrier that surrounds the entire self. Dump energy and power into it and imagine it hardening around you. Nothing that you do not want inside this sphere will come or harm you. Anyone trying to get past it with energy or intents that are not of your own cannot harm, affect or change your Will unless you decide you want them to. You can imagine that this barrier is made of metals, or wood, or something other material that may bounce things you don’t want near you away from you.

Once you have learned to Ground and Center and Shield then you are ready to learn how to cast a circle with the energy and enter your sacred space. Casting a circle is sort of like a larger version of shielding, except that you are trying to protect an area and space from energies that you want to keep out while you and maybe others are working together to collaboratively change something. However, circles also try and keep in any energy you do produce so that it does not affect the ways of things that you do not want to affect. Designing this space, anything inside the circle, makes it sacred. Hence the next concept Rayne teaches me, which is sacred space.

I guess any place can be considered sacred space, as long as you respect it and use it for the good of others. Sacred space differs from natural space only when it becomes more meaningful to you. Rayne also separates sacred space by saying that it is also space one uses to affect change. Then again, casting a circle protects and designates the space as work dedicated to her. Sacred space is highly personal and in some cases if it is a spot you return to on a regular basis it can become grounds for an altar. Altars are physical constructions of one’s service and devotion to their Goddess. Things and tokens filled with personal power and items that are added over time help to make this altar sacred. Rayne does suggest i build and construct an altar to my Goddess to honor her and build up my relationship with her and my personal power. I’m afraid to set one up near my village but Rayne assures me that he knows of a safe spot i can steal away safely to in the evenings and practice my assignments.

When we got to Rayne’s secret spot, he had me close my eyes. He asked me to put out my hand, so i did. And slowly and carefully i got led somewhere. My heart raced as my nerves gathered all sorts of moths and butterflies in it. I giggled a little bit because this whole situation seemed more than a farce than anything real. He stopped. Then asked me to open my eyes. I gasped. We had been hiking and climbing upwards all day but i never knew that the world contained this much beauty. My once tired body was instantly reenergized. It had forgotten all the hard walking and stretching of climbing up the mountainside.

We were standing on top of a densely wooded area, the scent of pine thick in the air. Through the tree trunks i could see the world fade away, as if that part of it did not exist. I walked through two trees and stopped. My feet had nowhere else to go, the path and the land that stretched to the left and right of me, dropped off for miles. I had never seen such a thing, being in the village, a girl in the village, where they tend to keep us close to the chores and place. It is like they are afraid that something may steal us in the night. So seeing this, has given me more depth and understanding about this world i live in than i think i would ever have.

The sound of roaring water could be heard off to the left, scooting my feet closer to the cliff and peering as far as i could towards the drop, i could see a gigantic waterfall, pouring water for at least 50 feet downwards. Ah, i thought, so this is where the village gets it’s water supply. A shriek came from above me and my head shot up to what it was. An eagle, brown with a white head, circled above me and Rayne, probably questioning our purpose for being there. He was pretty and i closed my eyes, imagining what it would be like to fly high above the land, like the eagle. Suddenly, in my mind i saw myself and Rayne standing on the ground. We were so small. Behind us on the right side i saw an opening in the trees that lead over to a cave carved into the rocks. The land below stretched on for miles and miles. My breath lodged itself in my throat as i saw interconnecting patchworks of green and yellow and gray stretch out as far as anyone’s eyes could see. It was like looking through the eyes of the eagle and the Goddess herself.

I must have been like this for quite awhile because when i came back to my senses, Rayne had walked over to me and placed his arm on my shoulder. I sighed and turned to meet his glaze. He was nothing but beauty and love and smiling. I wanted to tell him everything i saw, and opened my mouth to let the words out but he placed one long pale finger across my lips and told me to follow him in silence. He lead me through the trees to where i had seen the cave. He then beckoned me to enter and i did, bowing my head down so i would not hit it on the low ceiling.

There was little light, so i was unable to see clearly, but the cave smelled not of ground and dirt and mold, but of incense and flowers and beeswax. I turned to Rayne with a questioning gaze, i had an idea of what this was but i did not want to assume anything. The cave opened up, and before me i saw a make shift house, with two tables, one used for eating, the other with all sorts of objects and incense and candles on it. Over to one corner there was a bedroll, a few books lying next to it. My guess was that this was Rayne’s home, his sanctuary.

He turned to me, smiled, and took his boots off while sitting on the bedroll. I kept standing waiting to see what he wanted me to do next. I felt honored that Rayne felt he could trust me here, by leading me to his home. After he took his shoes off, he walked over to his smaller table. My guess that was his altar. He bowed his head down, in reverence to the Goddess, and then picked up a handmade candle. He set it over to the other table, produced some flint and steel and light it. Then staring at me he called upon all his energy and rolled it off his shoulder. His hand flicked two centimeters and then the flame from the candle blew out.

I dropped my mouth; i had never seen anything before. He was smiling in that way that he always did when he knew he was right and i was still a student. And then we started laughing.

We wandered back outside into the sun, to share it a bit more. And then he taught me the last two things i will share here before i drop off to sleep. The first thing he taught me was that not only do we have power and energy filling our bodies within but that we can also see this energy field as it surrounds our bodies on the outside. He called this sight of energy around a person an aura. Everyone and everything has one, he said. Even the rocks and even the trees. We may not be able to see the trees and rocks auras because they stay so tight to their physical forms. Our eyes can see human and animal auras easier. I asked him how one sees them and he told me to stare at me for a long, long time. I stared at him until my eyes wanted to close, and at that moment he told me to close my eyes. And i did. His image, burned in my eyes, held a light green ring around it. He asked me to tell him what i saw. And i told him that i saw a green ring around him, sitting about 3 inches around him.

He said that i did very well. I had seen my first aura. I asked him to describe to me what mine was. Without closing his eyes, he told me that mine was white with swirling colors. And it was about 2 inches from me. Somewhat disappointed, i bowed my head. The swirling he said, was especially indicative of confusion and puzzling. He told me to stay away from people who display spiky auras. Those are evil and mad people and they won’t do any good.

He then went into telling me what the different colors meant. One who has a white aura, is said to be pure and having protective qualities. Sometimes, when placed on the outside of the aura it may also signify a person who has used a bit of energy and is just over energized. Black indicates hatred, negativity, and depression. Red means fear and anger, not love as the red roses presume. Yellow indicates a successful or creative person. People, who are into the healing arts and like to help others, have green auras. Blue auras display in those people who are doing some spiritual and soul searching. Finally, purple, the royal colors of Kings indicate heightened spiritual awareness and one who has a well-balanced self-esteem.

We then spent time wandering around practicing reading auras. I saw the difference in how hard it was to see rocks and trees auras. They are very close and almost hard to spot. However, when i placed my hand over them and extended my aura out to envelope them, i did notice that i was able to hear their aura. Rayne said this was common, that especially with stones. While humans are not as adept at seeing auras, we can feel them humming. I thought this was fascinating so i also asked him to tell me about stones and their uses and value to us. He looked up, to the West, and saw the sun setting. My heart dropped to my feet. I was having so much fun, i did not want to go back to the village.

I had to act quick. I did not want to go back to the village. At least not yet. I wanted to learn more with Rayne. He got up, and started back to the cave, presumably to get his boots back on. I quickly got to my feet, and called for him. He turned and i knew it had to be now or never. I told him i did not want to go back. I told him that with all the sneaking around and things that he has taught me and all the things i wanted him to teach me that there was no way for me to really return back to my old life in the village. I was of age and my parents were getting ready to promise me to another. Another person who i did not want. Especially when i felt that someone else had already taken my heart.

He blinked in recognition of my village’s laws. And i could see the struggling within him. He did not want my promise day to come as much as i wanted. He came back over to me. What he did, scared me and comforted me. He placed his hand on my cheek and smiled. Then Rayne asked me what i wanted. What my greatest heart desired.

I blushed. And inhaled a deep breath of that mountain air. I told him the truth. Since that first day i saw him by the river where i gather bath water i admired him for his beauty. And as i came to know him and learn from him, this admiration grew and matured. Then one day, when i saw him come to take me away to this spot, i knew that the feelings i had for him where not of admiration and awe at his knowledge of the Goddess and these natural majicks but of love. Deep loves bind souls together and makes time fade away.

He nodded in understanding. I had more to say.

I told him i didn’t want to return to the village. The things he taught me over the past few weeks became more important to me than the chores and limited life i had with my family. I felt and saw in my dreams that if he lead me back home, there would be no way for me to return and i would forget all he had taught me and would only be able to practice those small teachings in private. I told him that i loved him and felt that it was no fluke that the Goddess chose for the two of us to meet and for him to teach me what he knew. His eyes watered, and his checks reddened. That today had given me more of a freeness and a life that i had ever known and that i did not ever want to feel bound by something not of my own will. And if i left this spot, to return home, to live that life, i would never recapture this freedom.

Rayne dropped to his knees and told me that he returned his love for me. That today while i soared in the eyes of the eagle, he saw me for almost the first time, not of a student and child curious about the things he knew but as a woman and a companion. He did not want to leave me, to take me back to that other life either. He got back up, off his knees and walked over to the cliff.