poemtry and prose

And while she didn't want to believe it, Blackwell became her home. The second day Cassie was there, she was introduced to drug therapy. She refused to take them at first. She knew that if she took them, they would cloud her visions. And she wanted no part of that. If Hazel and Stick were out there, she needed to be able to see. But she was not able to fight them off so they forced them down her throat.

Her body relaxed as the drugs entered her blood. Time seemed to slowdown and stop altogether. While she was aware of what was going on around her, she was unable to react. Her vision shifted. The world and the bright, vivid colors that once filled her eyes, swirled. She blinked. The lights dimmed. Even though she was inside, with all the halogens in the room turned on, things grew darker. The colors faded and vanished in one blink.

She looked in the mirror. She didn't recognize the face, the hollow eyes staring back. While Blackwell imprisoned her body, the drugs bound her spirit.

*******

Cassie touched the window. "Where are you guys? Are you out there? I can't see. They took my eyes away. If you are out there, send me a sign. Tell me that you are there and can get me out of here. " If she could only get the drugs out of her head. Free her eyes, and see again.

The wind died down and the sun began it's decent into night. Cassie knew that dinner would be served soon. Cassie didn't want to leave her window. It was the only connection to the outside world she had left. Two hawks circled above the garden. Cassie pressed her head against the window, following their every movement with her eyes.

They soared in a wide circle. Their wings stretched full. One of the birds dipped, swooping down towards the ground. Cassie's heart beat faster, fearful that the hawk was not going to stop. That it was going to crash into the ground instead. Her heart beat the time in seconds. Two... three...four and then it pulled out, and beat the air hard with it's wings.

The second hawk caught up with its mate. They circled once more, flying closer together than they were. And the dance started over again. Cassie envied their freedom, their dance left her feeling energized.

"Cassie, time for dinner."

Ken stood next to her. She frowned, took one last look at the hawks and pulled herself out of her chair. The others were already seated and began to eat. Cassie pulled up a chair to the table. The tray had steak and veggies. She pulled out her napkin and fork and placed the meat on the napkin.

"I told you, I don't eat meat." Cassie said to Ken. "Isn't there some way that I can get a full meal served to me without any meat?"

Ken shrugged, "You should be happy you get food that looks like what it is. In some places, they don't get food this good. But I'll see what I can do for you. Okay?"

Cassie nodded. "Thanks."

The Commons was silent as everyone ate dinner. It did not bother Cassie one bit as she did not want to speak. Once dinner was over, Ken returned, the medicine tray filled once more. More pills.

Cassie felt sick to her stomach. She was tired of Blackwell and their pills and the doctors and their discussions and theories. She was not sick. But no one believed her.

"May I be excused," she said, handing the empty cup back to Ken. "I'm tired and I do not feel very well. I would like to go to bed now."

Ken looked at his watch, "Well, I suppose it is okay. You do realize you'll be missing the movie we were gonna show on TV tonight?"

She nodded. "Yeah, that is okay. I am not too big on TV anyways." She stood, grabbed the empty tray and put it on the service rack. Then she turned once more, looking at the rest of her roommates. Most of them were either still eating or being cleaned up. Beth was not able to feed herself, so most of her meal would always end up on her face and shirt. Cassie questioned why they never gave her a bib to wear. "Prolly too cheep," she guessed.

She then walked into her room. It was small and modest. It reminded Cassie more of a prison cell than a place of her own. The walls were brick and painted white. And bare. The room was big enough for a small bed, dresser for clothes and a small desk and chair. Everything was attached to the wall, so that the person in the room was unable to move anything to block the door. Two days after they left her at Blackwell, Cassie's parents mailed her a package filled with approved personal items. Her green comforter, black sweatpants, a few of her favorite books (the covers torn and the pages bent from wear, having been read over and over again), Bramble, her teddy bear, and a journal to keep her thoughts and stories in. The books decorated the top of the dresser. The journal sat on her desk, unused.

Cassie loved to write, but since Blackwell had no privacy and she felt uncomfortable writing about Hazel and Stick and what adventures they had. She worried that Dr. Livingston or the nurses would get a hold of her notes and use them against her. She did not want to stay at Blackwell any longer than she could.

Before going to bed, she touched each one of the things her parents sent to her. Memories associated with each item flooded her head, sending pangs of loneliness and betrayal through her fingers. Bramble was the last thing she touched. He sat on her bed. When she slept she held onto him tight, snuggled in a ball.

"Sweet dreams, Bramble," she said and closed her eyes. Sleep came quickly, dreamless. The drugs, also blocked Cassie's ability to dream.

Cassie's eyes snapped open. She heard rustling noises coming from outside her room. She pulled the covers around her, making a nest from where she could safely identify who or what was outside. Tall, scaly lizard men with teeth sharp as razors; tens of thousands of black widow spiders crawling all over outside the room; shadow ghosts and boogymen leaped from her imagination.

"Get a grip, Cass," she said to herself. "There are no such things as monsters. Nothing is out there. And even if there was, it is probably just someone on the night staff."

A shadow appeared. It grew and crawled up the wall. Someone was coming. Cassie held her breath, gripped by fear.

"What do you mean, there are no such thing as monsters? Then it stands to reason that if they do not exist, then neither should we."

Cassie sat straight up in her bed. She knew that voice. It was Hazel's. And he was standing in front of her, leaning against the doorway. His deep voice was music to Cassie's ears. She was saved.

"Hazel!" Cassie exclaimed, throwing off the covers. She jumped the bed and threw her arms around him. "I am so happy to see you."

"Same here kiddo. Sorry it took us so long. We had no idea what happened, it was like you dropped off the face of gaia completely. Stick had to go to the elders to get them to help us locate you. And it was no easy thing either."

"They give me drugs. They cloud my head, and took away the visions and colors. I haven't felt whole since mom and dad left me here. I'm not crazy. You are real."

Hazel had not changed. His hair still messy and red. He wore black leather pants and his trademark white shirt. His eyes smiled, Cassie could tell he was happy to see her.

"So, where is Stick?" Cassie said. "And how did you get in here?"

Hazel smiled mischievously. "Ah, me lass. Faerie magic. ‘Tis the same thing we used to find you. Now come on, get your stuff, we do not have much time. Faerie magic may be powerful but it does not last too long."

Cassie looked around her room. There was not anything she really needed. The books could be replaced. While she wanted to bring Bramble, she decided that wherever they were going was no place for a teddy bear. She went to her chest and grabbed her hoody and shoes.

"Will Bramble be okay if I leave him?" she asked Hazel.

He laughed. "Ah Cassie, you may be older but the child within you still exists. Yes you can leave Bramble here, he will be alright. As will the rest of your things."

Cassie's face flushed. She felt embarrassed for asking. But she joined Hazel. "So now what," she whispered.

"We walk on out of here," Hazel said.

"But won't they spot us? We have to walk past the Control Room and I am sure there are two nurses sitting there waiting for us."

"Boy do you have a lot to learn still. After all these years and you still doubt me?" he grabbed her arm and pulled her out into the Commons. The room was silent. Nothing moved. There were no sounds.

Cassie turned her head towards the Control Room. It was empty. No nurses, no Doctors. Nothing.

"But, but, there is always someone there." Cassie muttered.

"Time is not what it always appears. You are right, there are two people in there. But they will not bother us tonight. They cannot even see us. We are moving faster than they and their monitors and equipment can detect us. Like I said, faerie magic is strong, but this doesn't last a long time."

They quickly made their way past the Control Room and down the elevator. Cassie did not see a single person as they walked out of Blackwell. The heavy doors to the entrance of the hospital flew open; hitting Cassie with a blast of cold air in the face. She stopped moving.

"Come on, it's not that much further," Hazel said turning towards her.

Cassie stood motionless. She did not say anything. Instead she closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. She was free. Her body shivered. It was cold outside. But it was outside. No windows, no bars. Free. The cold air filled her lungs with a renewed sense of purpose and when she was done exhaling all of the stale, hospital air from her body, she reopened her eyes.

She walked briskly, catchinng up with Hazel and they walked past Blackwell into the garden. He held her hand as he guided her past the building and out into the trees. The pines reminded her of the forest back home. They headed deep into the trees, away from Blackwell. Away from people.

"Hazel, it's getting cold. How much longer?" Cassie said, shivering.

"Not much further. The gateway is just over there." He pointed towards a great oak. It stood tall, the moon casting a halo over it. A ring of mushrooms circled its trunk. The marks of faerie.

"Enter the ring and sit down in the center." Hazel said. "Don't say anything unless I tell you too. Do not be afraid, I will be right here. Next to you always."

Cassie nodded. "Where are we going?"

"To meet the elders. I am taking you into the Realm."

Cassie gasped. She never dared that she would enter Hazel's realm. Faerie tales told stories about people wandering into the faerie realm. They stumbled in without knowing, many lost their way, swallowed by the world. Others, like her, were lead in by the fae. Some of them returned. The Brothers Grimm were such lucky people. Others, remained, becoming servants.

That Hazel wanted to take her into his world, made Cassie feel loved. She trusted him and somehow knew that nothing bad would befall her. She closed her hoody tight around her chest and sat down in the middle of the ring.

Hazel followed her. He reached down and pulled a set of pipes from a pouch. It was smooth and white. It seemed to be made of bone or a very light colored tree wood. He took a corner from his shirt and wiped the pipes clean and then softly covered three holes on top of the pipe with three of his fingers. He then rested his thumb on a hole appearing on the bottom of the pipe. Hazel drew air into his lungs and placed the pipe into his mouth.

Ethereal notes danced from his pipe into the air. Cassie watched them as they floated like bubbles from Hazel's pipe. It was a sound she had never heard before. It was deep but windy, as if someone had taken the sounds from a violin, harp and flute and squished it down into his pipe. Hazel continued the song, the notes surrounding them. Calling forth a mist from the ground. The mist swirled, like smoke from a pipe and grew thicker. And thicker. Until Cassie was not able to see anything around them anymore.

"More faerie glamour," Cassie watched as the trees and cold and night sky faded out of view.