poemtry and prose

It took Kaylee three days to work out a week's worth of shift changes so that she could take a week off. Still unsure of what was going on, she wanted to be prepared for the worst. Her boss was attentive and curteous and very understanding but she could not help but feel a bit exposed and shy. She was the newest call center representative and did not like the fact that she was needing to take so much time off right up from the start. It did not feel right and she knew that when she got back in 7 days that she would have a lot of making up to do. Especially to keep a top of all the unpaid bills and services her apartment would be filled with.

At home, she packed lightly. Of course, she did not have a whole lot of clothes or things. Kaylee was one of those shoppers who chose comfort over quantity. She would always rather wear out her clothing than go get the latest fad and designer wear that she constantly saw other women and men indulge in. No, this was not her way. Her way was to live more simply and enjoy the little things that life had to offer. Like sunsets and late night discussions with her call representative friends who were more real than many of the plastic wearing day people. Kaylee always thought that the night time life offered more reality than being up in the sun for eight hours.

It took her five minutes to locate her well worn and loved backpack. It was one of the few possessions she kept from her past. The bag was faded military green, a strange olive color that appeared blotchy in some places, an almost sickly grey color. The fabric still captured a sage scent, instantly transporting her back to her gran's house. She had always loved to burn a blend of sage and lavendar in the house. Kaylee remembered the never ending mist of smoke that hovered from the room that held the censors and candles where her gran would spend countless hours watching over. Sometimes the smell got so thick that it make it hard for her to breathe and think and Kaylee knew that her school studies suffered for the worse.

She grasped the bag close to her chest and inhaled deeply, allowing the smell to overwhelm her for just a second or two. And then, without warning, the tears starting falling onto the bag, making deep, dark impressions on the bag. It had been a long time, over ten years since she cried for anything. Especially anything from her past.

"Oh gran, I hope this is all a fib and a lie. And that when I get there the elders will tell me that it is all a scam, nothing more," she sobbed. "I just... I just could not do what you wanted me to be. I had to go find my own way."

She grabbed a few t-shirts, and a well worn, black base layer. Autumn was quickly coming and she knew that the homes at the reservation would not keep the heat in as well as modern places, like those built in Port Riverbend, could. A few pairs of socks went into the bag and so did the underwear. All that was left was space enough for a book and her hair brush. Kaylee sat her jacket next to the bag and also her library book. It was okay but she decided that it was best if she returned the book and went out to the bookstore to get something that she could enjoy without having to fear the wrath of the library woman who always chastized her for returning books later than normal.

Sitting down on her bed, Kaylee did a quick calculation of what money she had in the bank. Her boss gave her a bit of an personal extenion loan on her paycheck so she could have enough extra for gas and lodging while away. That left her with a few extra dollars to get a book. She leaned back, laying down on the bed, grabbed her wallet from the nightstand, and decided it was time to head out.

Ten minutes later she was back in the city, looking at all the lights and people scurry to and from. She briefly stopped off at the local library and then headed towards the nearest used bookstore. ReRead Used Books was just around the corner from the library and always had a good selection of used books at just the right place. Kaylee had no problems finding close parking. She rushed into the store and stared at stack after stack of books lining the space of the store from floor to ceiling and in between.

Her eyes darted back and forth at all the words contained on the dusty, hard wood shelves. She was not ready for this. Her mind, preoccupied with the trip and getting to the reservation, was in no mood to actually select a suitable book from the shelf. She allowed herself to get carried into the colors and words printed on the spines of each book.

"Hello, welcome to ReRead. Can I help you?" A friendly voice came out from behind her.

"Oh, hi, yeah, I guess you can. I am going on a trip and I need something fun and um, simple to read. Something not really deep but will take me a week or so to read," she blurted out at the sales person.

"Well, let us see here. What sorts of books do you like?"

"I dunno, I read all sorts of things. From fiction to non-fiction and in between. I had to return a copy of One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest to the library because of this trip. Did not want to end up getting any late fees."

"I see," the clerk said as she started wandering around the aisles, looking for suitable choices based on what Kaylee said. "Hmm, how about this one?"

She pulled a red paperback book out from the stack. On the cover was a weirdly shaped bottle containing what could have been perfume. Across the top printed in big airy sixties style words was Jitterbug Perfume and Tom Robbins.

"Okay, great, thanks," Kaylee said. She took the book from the lady's outstretched hand and flipped the book over. It claimed to be a saga. A book that was about a jar that could have been the essense of the universe.

"Okay," she said in her mind. "This works. It seems odd and a bit silly and fun. So it works for me." She looked inside the front cover and found the price. Three dollars and fifty nine cents. Sold! Even the price was right.

She paid the lady at the counter and thanked her once again for giving her what looked to be the perfect recommendation and headed back to the apartment. Kaylee paced around for fifteen more minutes, wondering if she should just disregard what was going on and not go or to suck it all up and head back. She was nervous and not looking forward to seeing her old home again.

"Screw it," she muttered under her breath and swept the bag and jacket up off the floor. "It is now or never and I have got to know whether or not this is really going on." Her keys jingled in her hands as she bolted the door of the aprment and scurried down the stairs to her car.

The mid-afternoon sun cast shadows over the car as she got on the road. Kaylee blasted the stereo playing old fifties tunes as she set out to the South and the loation of the Ser'lapham reservation. Another quick calculation told her that she would get to the lands just in time for dinner.

Her car took her into the downtown city. It was were the rich and important people lived. Many were standing out on the street corner, purchases in hand, laughing and talking and having a good time. They were oblivious to whatever else was going on around them. Some had large headphones on their heads, making it look like they were wearing ear muffs, walking briskly to the sound of some unknown and obscure band. Others attempted to corral their barking dogs as passerbys waltzed past.

And just as fast as she entered the town, she was out of it. The road opened up as the speed increased to match the barrenness of the plains. Suddenly, she was greated with nothing but fields of corn and wheat and the scent of cow and horse. Kaylee stretched her back as best as she could in order to keep herself awake during the two hours of seeing nothing but field after field after field. She did notice that the mountains grew closer and that was her only consolation for being on the road for so long.

She turned southward into the the direction of the old highway that lead into the reservation about the time that the sun was setting. By then the sun had dipped over the majestic, purple mountains to her west. The radio, having long cut out only an hour or so into her journery, snapped back to life with small blips of voice between static. She switched it off, the noise grating on her already shot nerves.

"It will not be long now," she said to the plastic steering column. "Then you can rest and I can see just what all this whoohaw is about."

Thirty minutes later, she saw the sign for the Ser'lapham reservation lands. The American government had made them a nice welcoming sign. Complete with fancy, metallic lettering and a decorative pond with stalks of cattails. It was classy indeed, but just a small reminder of what they did to her peoples so many years ago. The road turned into dirt and she slowed down so the car could handle the loose gravel.

Dusk now shown across the trees and she continued her trek through the reservation lands to the very heart of it all. Finally, off in the distance, she saw lights. Her mind struggled to remember just where the cultural center was as the years of expansion collided with fond and innacurate memories. There had been a small growth boom in the reservation lands. The town, she noticed, had expanded to include a new school and a library and a few more stores. She drove slowly down the town street, hoping that no one saw her and recognized her. Hard working and worn faces watched her as she passed by in the car. Some people strained their faces in apprehension of what the brown car was bringing into town. Others just started blankly.

She turned down Kinecha Street and saw the new Cultural Center. It was huge and completely remodled. It reminded her of those new fancy looking strip mall buildings that she saw constantly going up all over Port Riverbend. She turned into the parking lot of the Center and parked her car in front of the of the massive adobe structure. A single light shown on a sign which said "Honatae Ser'lapham Cultural Center".

She pulled the bag out of the back of her car and slung it over her left shoulder. The air had a bit of a bite in it. Autumn was definitely here and she shivered as she made her way up the walkway into the center.

She opened the heavy wooden door. A few bells jingled. "Hello, anyone here?" She held her breath, unsure of whether or not there would be an answer.

"Hello," she said again. Her eyes wandered around the building. All sorts of old memorabellia sat in the large museum-like room. Pictures of her ancestors hung on the walls of the Center, while mannequins sat encased in protective plastic wore the colorful garb ceremonial garb. Ancient mold and dust hung in the air and Kaylee felt nakid standing there.

A bump sounded off in the far corner of the Center and it snapped her back into reality.

"Hello?"

"Er hello," a voice returned out from the dark. "We are closed. If you want, you can come back tomorrow."

"Yes, I know," Kaylee said. "I am not a tourist tho. My name is Kaylee Morgan. Someone called me back. Something about my gran, Serena Riverwalker, being deathly sick?"

A figure appeared out of a doorway. "Oh my god, it IS you. Wow it has been a long time. Kaylee. So nice to see you again." The figure moved into the light and Kaylee saw that it was an old classmate of hers, David Hawkins.

"David? Wow, is it you?" Kaylee said, barely recognizing him. She felt strange as all the memories came flooding back.

David hugged her and smiled, "It really is nice to see you again. And yes, I do not know who called you but it is true. She is sick and not doing well. I know that she wanted to see and talk to you. About something important. Let me give her a call and then we can go over to see her."

Kaylee slumped her shoulders a bit. She was not ready to hear and meet with her gran so soon. But it did sound important. So she had no choice but to sit tight and wait for David to return. She set her bag down on the floor and absent mindedly wandered around the old relics, hoping to see something of herself in them.

A few minutes later, David returned with his jacket on. "Okay, we are set. Your gran has been notified and is very excited to see you. We can take my Jeep."

"Thanks, I do apprecaite this. Oh, my car is parked out front. The brown one. Do you think it will be okay?"

"Yeah, it wil be fine. No one really bothers the Center at night. The res is not as bad as it used to be. As you can see we have grown a bit and thanks to the center and a few grants we have been bringing in a bit more tourists.

Kaylee smiled and nodded. She felt completely exposed and tried hard not to fidget and show any sign of discomfort.

David continued to talk as they drove out to her gran's old homestead. It was a small two bedroom adobe house seated near the opening of a forest.

"So yeah, her health has been in steep decline over the years since you left. She has not been the same since. I am trying not to make you feel guilty but she did her best, you know. She really did love you. But that is all past news and you are here now," he said snapping Kaylee back into her body.

"Yeah, I know. I had to do what I did. I do not know what to expect but I guess I am here cos yeah," she muttered, forcing her body to not slide deep down into the seat. "Anyway, thanks for driving. Care to stay a bit? I do not know if I am welcome to stay and I will need to go back to the Center anyways and get my car later."

"Sure thing Kaylee. It really is good to see you," he said while smiling.

They got out of the car. The ground felt crunchy beneath their feet. The air grew colder but felt crisp and healthy in her lungs. A light was on in the house and Kaylee took a long, deep breath before going in the home. Another male figure leaned in the doorway.

"Well, well. I see you finally made it," called another familiar voice. It was the voice of the person on the phone. The one who called and told her about her gran.

"Daniel, I presume?" she said, gritting her teeth. She was not sure she liked this person. He seemed a little to smug for her tastes and too eager to put her down.

"The very one. Come on, your gran is very anxious to see you."

They entered her old home. The strong scent of sage and lavender incense hit her nose. Kaylee felt like she was instantly six years old again. Not much changed to the house since she left. The same strange fur pelts decorated the walls and small bushels of herbs hung in one corner as they dried. The lights were off and the rooms were lit with lots of candles instead. She smiled and thought to herself, "same old gran. Has not really changed much."

They entered the room where most of the sage smoke poured out from. It was her gran's bedroom. A warm fire was lit in the wood buring fireplace and a few candles were once again lit. A small tiny figure laid in a bed, wrapped heavily in fur and cotton blankets. Long flowing white braided hair hung down over the cloth.

"Kaylee," the soft voice of her gran called out. "You have returned. I knew you would. I missed you so very much."