poemtry and prose

The skeleton bone mask felt warm and buzzy in her tanned and warm hands. It reminded her of how the air felt during an electrical storm where it was all charged with ozone and staticky. However there was no ozone smell and the static feeling was being conducted through the skull and going into her own body.

She gently hefted the mask up and held it way over her head. She took a deep breath and pushed the air deep down into the center of her entire being. Past her heart and down near her stomach, into her diaphragm where the air filled her entire body and stablized it for the ritual. She carefully lowered the mask so it fit onto her head and was amazed at how solid and form fitting it felt on top of her head. She breathed deeply and heard the sound of air being inhaled bounce off the innards of the skull and into her ears. She turned to look at the circular creation laying on the floor and smiled.

Everything seemed to look a lot more vivid from the inside of the skull. Colors were brighter and Kaylee thought that she saw some shimmering going on out of the periphial corners of her vision. It was almost as if she was wearing glasses that showed her some aspect of the world that she had been missing all of the rest of her life. Shapes were more well defined as well and when she looked down upon her Medicine Wheel, the stones looked as if they had melded together in one big mess of stone and mineral.

Kaylee walked towards the circle and made a quick last minute check to make sure everything she wanted for the ritual was in place. Candles, totem items, stones, check. Everything looked good. She then stepped into the circle, making sure her feet did not disturb either the stones that made the cirle or the energy emitting from them that the mask gave her the ability to see. She made her way to the center of the circle and then sat down in a lotus position on the hardwood floor.

Her body felt charged up and amped as if she had just slammed a six pack of Mountain Dew. Her fingers shook with energy and her mind felt more alive than it ever had been before. She closed her eyes and attempted to still the speeding thoughts barrelling through her mind. She allowed her mind to imagine that the energy all around her and within the wheel looked like a deep cobalt blue color. This color swirled together and mingled in and out of the natural space of the cabin. She then imagined a bolt of lightening coming down from the center of the cabin. Her breath quickened sharply as she thought of this. It was like someone had dumped an ice cold bucket of water onto her body making her gasp for air. The bolt of lightening ran then ran down from the ceiling and into herself making the hairs on her body stand on end. Then it sparked outward from her body, flowing down into the center of her Medicine Wheel and into the stones that sat nearest to where she sat lotus style. She then imagined that this lightening then pushed out into the four directions and spun quickly around the rest of the circle bonding the whole thing together into one single electrofied force, connecting it and the four cardinal directions together.

She opened her eyes and gasped again. The vision that she created in her head was now a reality. The stones, and her hands glowed with a slight ghastly blue glow to them. Small sparks shot off occasionally from the stones as the energy ebbed and flowed through the powerful circle she just invoked. Kaylee smiled and fought back the urge to pat herself on the back, focusing instead on continuting the ritual.

She turned her head and met with the North section. She had placed the small whole acorn that she discovered in the grove of nut bushes on a small patch of fur that sat next to a beeswax candle taken from the cabinent and then had painted brown to represent the deep, dark rich color of the earth. She also sat the small rune stone for Earth next to the acorn as well. She inhaled again and thought about what that direction meant to her and what she had learned from it.

"I welcome the North," she began, trying to make her voice carry into every available space of the cabin, "I welcome the dirt and the ground and the trees and the acorns and the bugs and the worms that go into making the food that we eat, like the maize and the carrots and the potatoes. I welcome the feelings the all this bring. I welcome stability and connectivity to all things great and small. Be here now."

Kaylee pointed her finger out at the painted brown candle sitting at the exact spot of the north and imagined a bolt of green lightening rush out from her finger shooting out to hit the tip of the wick of the candle tip. She imagined that blue bolt striking the tip and sparking the wick so that a bright orange burst of light errupted on the candle, adding to the glow that was already there. And again, as she imagined this, a bright orange and red line of fire shot up from the very tip of the candle wick.

Kaylee felt her heart beat faster and smiled at the amazing display of magic brought to her in Vellum Hollow. She then turned to the East and stared at the items in this sector of the Medicine Wheel. Her eyes gazed upon the beeswax candle she painted a bright corn yellow color. Sitting on a white pelt she found in the cabinent was the sphene and the small rune stone for East. She once again thought about this direction and the windy experience and all that it gave and taught her.

"I welcome the East," she called out, "I welcome the gentle and happy winds that blow in the air. I call out the sound of the pan flutes of my people, the Ser'lapam that float in through the air to inspire the dance. I call out the inspiration that burst forth from the simple sparkling stone of the Sphene that I discovered from sitting in the cold air of the Autumn winds. I invite the creative muse that allows me to visualize the stories I read and recently, bring forth my visions into sparkling displays of magic here in Vellum Hollow. I welcome you tonight."

Again, Kaylee pointed her finger out at the painted yellow candle sitting at the exact spot of the east and imagined a bolt of blue lightening rush out from her finger shooting out to hit the tip of the wick of the candle tip. She imagined a airy white bolt striking the tip and sparking the wick so that a bright orange burst of light errupted on the candle, adding to the glow that was already there. And again, as she imagined this, a bright orange and red line of fire shot up from the very tip of the candle wick.

She smiled once more and turned to the South. There she had placed a beeswax candle painted red. Next to the candle she placed a light brown pelt of a coyote and gently placed the silver sage she found atop the plateau two days ago. Nestled next to this, she sat the small rune stone for South and then thought about what all this direction meant to her and what it brought.

"I welcome the South," she said, "I welcome the warm sun and the tall plateaus of the imagination from whence all imagination and passion flow. I call upon the beauty and power that fire and all destructive force has to create and destroy and recreate life in all forms and images. I welcome you here tonight to this cabin."

Again, Kaylee pointed her finger out at the painted red candle sitting at the exact spot of the east and imagined a bolt of bright orange lightening rush out from her finger shooting out to hit the tip of the wick of the candle tip. She imagined a red bolt striking the tip and sparking the wick so that a bright orange burst of light errupted on the candle, adding to the glow that was already there. And again, as she imagined this, a bright orange and red line of fire shot up from the very tip of the candle wick.

She shifted her body again and faced the West. She had placed a beeswax candle that she had painted a deep, yet bright cobalt blue color on the floor in this direction. It reminded her of the pond waters that she encountered the day earlier and hoped to see it once more. Sitting atop a skin of a snake that she found in the cabinent was the small and prescious dew drop crystal she picked off the five petaled flower. Next to this was the rune stone for West. She closed her eyes and allowed the experience to wash over her as she thought about what that direction meant to her.

"I welcome the West," she said, "I welcome the ebb and flow of the cool waters of the Ocean and Lakes. I welcome the wet and deep waters that contain mysteries that we have yet to uncover. I welcome the emotions and the peace I feel when I am near these bodies of water. Be here now."

And for the last time, Kaylee pointed her finger out at the painted blue candle sitting at the exact spot of the east and imagined the same bolt of bright blue lightening rush out from her finger shooting out to hit the tip of the wick of the candle tip. She imagined the bolt striking the tip and sparking the wick so that a bright orange burst of light errupted on the candle, adding to the glow that was already there. And again, as she imagined this, a bright orange and red line of fire shot up from the very tip of the candle wick.

She then rubbed her hands and centered herself back into the middle of the circle.

"I now call out to the four spirits that I have met while staying here at this cabin in what I guess is the center of Vellum Hollow. I call upon Weasel, who I met the first day up in the orchards of the Northern space. I welcome you to this rite."

Shortly after Kaylee called out for the small Weasel to appear at her ritual, she noticed out at the corner of her eye that the spirit manifested next to the candle. Weasel flicked hir tail at the apprentice shaman and settled hirself down next to the pelt of hir ancestors.

Kaylee smiled and nodded and then continued, " I call upon Barn Owl, who I met the second day down in the plateaus of the Southern space here in Vellum Hollow. I welcome you to this rite."

Once again, soon after she spoke the words the flapping sound of wings entered the cabin. Barn Owl hovered over the candle and then lowered hir body down to the floor boards. The bird blinked and hooted softly as it nestled down in hir space.

Again, Kaylee smiled a warm greeting and continued, "I welcome Bobcat, who met me here at the cabin on my third day in Vellum Hollow. I welcome you to this rite."

Bobcat appeared next to the yellow candle and licked hir paw. Hir turned around and kneeded the fur that Kaylee placed on the floor and then sat down and licked hir lips in a greeting of hello.

Kaylee nodded to the small cat and then continued, "Last but not least (I hope), I call out and welcome Frog who I only met the other day. I welcome you to to this ritual."

A soft padded sound of hopping and movement appeared from behind Kaylee as Frog hopped to hir spot on the Medicine Wheel. Hir puffed hir chest out towards Kaylee, almost as if hir was giving Kaylee the approval to move forward with whatever she had in mind next.

She spun around slowly and looked closely at each of what she considered were her new friends.

"Okay," she began, her voice shaking a bit, "I have never done this before so I am a bit nervous. But thank you all for coming. I am humbled and honored to have been able to meet you all in person. I used to think that what my gran did and tried to teach me would have no usefulness in my future but heh, here I am, sitting and talking to all of you.

"So, as I understand it, I have a need to pick a guide. I presume one of you, that will walk with me and teach me things and I hope, let me teach you things. I know that in the Ser'lapham way, the choosen totem spirit animal bonds with the person. In a way they become a member of that house of the spirit and gain whatever benefits and flaws and rights that the totem brings. I also know that it also determines what path the person brings to their life. Like all the medicines and things that the person is capable of gets exposed and solidified at that one momemt. Or in this case, tonight.

What I never told my gran and what I am going to reveal to you tonite is why I left the reservation. I was scared. I did not want something that I did not know or did not understand control my life. I always wanted to believe that I was the only person in control over what I said and did and well, obviously... that is only half true. I ran to escape the bonding. I did not want to get stuck with something that I was not sure I absolutely and positively wanted to have in my life.

Of course, having been back and talking to Daniel, David and my Gran, my eyes are a bit more open than they were at that one time. I now know that I missed out on a truly wonderful part of my life and I am deeply saddened and regretful that I never got to go through that period. I want to make up for it now with this rite. But I also want to ask you all on what you think about me and how you see me and what I can do.

After all, if this is going to be a symbiotic relationship then I want you to have a say on whether or not you want to work with me as well."

"Well spoken two legged," Barn Owl said, "I see you have spent a lot of time thinking about all this."

"Yes I have," Kaylee replied. "Quite a bit thanks to the questioning of Bobcat."

Bobcat nodded to the others but did not say anything. Hir mind was a tangle of webs and notions and was hoping that hir advice to the two legged had turned the girl away from wanting to move foward with all this. Apparently, it backlashed and backfired. It only helped to make her want it more and on her own terms.

"Do you not fear what will happen after this rite," Bobcat retorted.

"Yes I do. Gran only told me that I have to seek out the items that I have found. The acorn, the sage, the sphene and the crystal. And then I was to meet with four possible suitor totems, which are all yours. What comes next, I have no idea. But I do know that somehow I am to be imbued with knowledge that will allow me to take over and perform her duties after she passes from my world into this one."

Frog croaked, "You are wise to be afraid. But also smart to tell us. Fear is a emotion that can be a blessing an a curse. And when used properly you can gain a lot from it. I see a good future ahead for you. What say the rest of the council members present?"

Barn Owl stretched out hir feathers and looked intensely at Kaylee, "This one has spunk. She cares and she is willing to attempt new things. However, she is also flightly. Would she run at the first challenge or misstep? That would damage the relationship we have spent eons building with the Ser'lapham. I want to trust her and give the benefit of doubt."

Weasel nodded, "Yes, she is flightly but most two leggeds are and can be. I wonder if she is ready for this. She did tend to take this on all abruptly. I feel there is a bit of anger towards the one called Daniel who took her spot and has been assisting the shaman since she went away."

Kaylee shifted uncomfortably at this insight. "Yes, I will admit that that part is true. I am not sure what it is but I feel that no good will come to what you all call 'this relationship' if he takes the place of my gran. I would like to think that I can do a better job of taking care of the spiritual needs of my people than he could. Something in his eyes tells me that he only cares about the prestige and power that comes from knowing what he knows."

"And could the same said about you?" Bobcat snarled a bit too heavily. "After all, you are barely trained and are asking for the boon of the powers of Vellum Hollow to be dumped into your mind and body and spirit for the first time ever. This is a serious rite and job and should not be taken lightly. Why else do you think I have tried to discourage you from this..."

Bobcat stopped, hir anger towards this two legged and her convictions and desires had betrayed hir. Bobcat was not supposed to take sides, hir was supposed to be a open and fair observer and now hir allegiance to the two legged known as Daniel Bitterwood might cause discourse amongst the council.

Weasel was the first to catch the slip up, "what did you say? Are you trying to tell us that you and a hidden agenda have tried to turn the tides to a more favorable outcome for you and whomever the bond you have with requested?"

Bobcat started feeling uncomfortable. Hir tail began twitching and the fur on hir back stood on end.

"Er no, this is absolutely not true. All I meant by it was that is this who we really want to take over for the consolidated tribes of the Ser'lapham spiritual advisor? She was a runaway and did not ever complete her training with the shaman. Is this the best they had to offer? If so, then there is something the other members of the council have kept it hidden from the rest of us and I think we should rethink how we want relationships moving forward to go."

Frog's chest puffed out, "You be doin the evil of something else have you not? I see it in the way your fur twitches. You are lying and have been this entire time. You were not the one that she was to meet two days ago. She said it herself that you met her at this house, the house of the two leggeds. Therefore it is you who have invalidated and broke trust. And to think the council..."

All of a sudden the four spirits started speaking in a strange and ancient and heated language that Kaylee did not and could not understand. She grew nervous and her head and body twitched from one spirit to the next in horror and terror. She could not understand any of them and worried that they were talking about her. It was like she did no exist in this world all of a sudden. Tears started collecting at the corner of her eyes and her fists clenched. Her ritual, her first ritual that she ever got to create and perform, that she so carefully planned was crumbling down all around her into an argument that almost sounded like all the many arguments that her parents used to do before they died and passed into Vellum Hollow.

She clenched her teeth and suddenly blurted out, "Stop it. Just STOP IT! All of you. I do not know what anyone is saying and I do not want to know. This was supposed to be my akalam ritual. This was supposed to be the night I picked one of you to be my friend and guide. And now..." her voice grew small as she stared directly at Bobcat, "I do not know if I should pick any of you. I do not know who can be trusted and who cannot. I am sorry, but I think this is now over and I want you all to leave. Just leave. Now. I have no idea what is going to happen now to me or to my gran or my peoples but I know that whatever DOES happen I will figure out a way to make amends my own way. I am sorry but like I said, I just do not think I can trust any of you to be the best help."

The four members of the council looked at the two legged in disbelief. Never in their existence had they known anyone to deny a bond with any of the creatures that made themselves apparent and known to them. And yet, here, for the first time was a two legged that told them all to leave. They all bowed their heads to Kaylee in acknowlegement of her decision decision and left immediately, blowing out the light flickering out from the tops of the four directional candles as they left.

Kaylee found herself alone again. She removed the hot and now heavy mask from her head and the blue ring outlining the Medicine Wheel faded out into the night sky. She wiped a stray strand of hair from her face and looked utterly emotionally and physically tired. She walked out to the East and kicked a few stones out from the wheel, breaking and disconnecting whatever mystical connection she had made only an hour before hand.

"Well, Fuck. This is just great. Now what the hell am I going to do," she said staring down at the broken circle.