That’s when I looked up and saw the book sitting on my shelf. Awhile ago, my friend Taylor recommended I get a copy of Feeding Your Demons to read and use. I read the book and it has certainly changed the way I look at healing myself and coming to terms with “dis-eases”. I have yet to make it a habit though because as soon as I felt ill, I should have broke out that book and gone over the five step process. Instead, it took me four days of feeling miserable before I even REALIZED that I should ask the plague what it wanted.

So before going to bed, I laid there with myself and the plague and asked it what it wanted. It appeared to me as a gooey, blob of grey crap in my chest. It wanted my life, to drown me and consume me. I didn’t like hearing that but I gave it as much of my life-force as I could actually give. And as sick as I was, it was not a whole lot. I continued to give this blob my life, hoping that if I gave it willingly, that it would loosen up and let go of my poor strangled chest.

The second part of this process is that you end up seeing the demon transformed into some sort of helper, after its been fed. As much as I fed this blob, I didn’t end up seeing my helper. Instead, a dinosaur/dragon appeared. This beast told me that it was not my helper but it was an intermediary between being sick and the final product. This beast would hunt the ick in my lungs down and chase it out of me. I thanked the beast for it’s help and allowed myself to drift off into sleep.

While I don’t feel 100% better today, I DO feel slightly better.

We used them, not all of them, but we DID use them during Beltane festival last weekend. I put two on the makeshift dining table; two sat on the table Ember brought with her; I put two in our hotel motel; and I gave one or two to Ember for her tent. They gave off some light Friday and Saturday and all was good.

Kender decided to stay at camp Saturday night. He’s not into the big bonfires. So Ember, her friend, and I hung out with the community, our new Queen and King. We were warm by the fire and watched the antics and swapped stories. It was a good, mellow evening. Later on, I wandered back to our campsite and Kender had made a fire in our makeshift fire pit. Going into the tent, he also had taken some of these Everlasting Tealights and made a heart out of them. For me. They were sitting on my bedroll. It was perfect and very much a loving surprise.

We had to “put the lights out” before going to bed. Except, this one candle refused to go out. I clicked the switch and expected it to dim, but it refused. Clicked it again and still nothing. So, instead of ticking off the “everlasting tealight goddess” we decided to leave it on. A nightlight of sorts. I placed it on our altar table where it could “dance” the night away.

It was still burning when we packed it up with its sleeping brothers and sisters the next day.
It was still burning when I unpacked the box when we got home.

It still burns where I have it sitting on our kitchen counter. The light… refuses to go out. Today is Beltane proper. And when I left for work an hour ago, it was still glowing. I’ve decided that this little fake candle, this battery operated toy, is our Beltane Fire. The fire of our passion, of the seeds of ideas and hearth and community, that will grow throughout the year. The fire of the change in weather.

The package claims the candles “burn” for 120 hours, but I think it’s been longer than that by now.

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Happy Beltane everyone!