Etched in Ice

Those words are forever etched in my mind. The pain and the hurt are unequaled to that which I experience from second to second and day to day. Mentally I am a wreak, but this I’ve learned to deal with. Financially.. well let’s just say that I’m scared. I’m scared that one day I won’t be able to find a way to make the ends meet each month. I’m scared that one day I won’t graduate from college and that all the effort and struggles I’ve been through the past four years will have been for nothing.

So I write. Fiction and landscapes from the mind. This is what I do best. In addition to being the student, library assistant (part-time), and HTML web designer at the lab (once again part-time). But even this doesn’t cover the necessities of having a studio apartment, phone, electricity, and a big junkie’s appetite for music and books. Oh, and not too mention the car… gas, repairs. What a nightmare.

Sometimes I dream of a world without money, a place where people are getting along with one another and doing what they love to do and what they’re best at. In my world there are no people telling me what I can or can’t do, squashing my dreams. And in this world there will be no regrets, no words that bring tears to my eyes when I think of them. Those words are what put the icing on the cake.

Those words. You can be so stupid. You could of played by my rules and had a rent free place to live in but instead you choose to screw it all up. Etched in ice upon my mind.